How to be a good wife — Pt 2

BEING a good wife isn’t about making your husband happy, it’s about doing what’s right for both of you — and I don’t just mean because it will lead to a better marriage either.

We carried part one last week, now here are more ways to be a good wife. So follow these tips if they sound appealing but, most importantly, be your authentic self!

Respect him

Respect is not about bowing down to your husband. It’s not about putting him on a pedestal, worshipping every word he says or falling into line with his decisions without thinking for yourself.

No, respect is about seeing him as a person who deserves your consideration and care. It’s about acknowledging his individuality and the fact that he may have different thoughts, feelings and opinions from you.

Play a part in family finances

You should not, under any circumstances, be a financial burden to your husband. This does not mean that you should be completely dependent on him for everything and expect him to pay for everything. It means that you should help out with the household finances as much as possible by contributing your fair share into the family budget.

Also, you may want things to change or get better in terms of your finances, but if you insist on being unreasonable or demanding at every turn and calling it “being supportive”, then there’s no way this will work out well for either one of you.

Be his friend and lover

If you want to make sure that your husband is happy, and that he loves you for the rest of his life, this is what I would recommend:

•Be his friend.

•Be his lover.

•Be his partner in life, who shares the joys and sorrows with him as they come along.

•Be his confidante when he wants to talk about something important in his life or when he needs advice on something that’s bothering him at work (or even if it’s just dealing with family).

Respect his need for space

If your husband is a homebody, he may like to have time alone in the evening after work or while you’re out with friends. Understand that he may not want to go on every outing with you or be interested in watching every TV show or movie. Give him the space he wants and don’t take it personally if he says no sometimes.

Cook for him

Cooking is a good way to show you care. It’s a good way to show that you are a good wife. When your husband comes home after a long day of work and all he wants to do is relax, he won’t want to eat takeout every night. Cooking for family members shows that you think about their needs and wants instead of just your own desires.

Don’t complain

•Don’t complain about him spending time with his friends or family.

•Don’t complain about him spending time with you.

•Don’t complain about him spending time with his work.

•Don’t complain about him spending time with himself.

Show interest in his job and hobbies

You don’t have to be an expert on his job or hobbies. If you want to help him, just ask questions and show interest in his interests. Ask him about the projects he’s working on, or what he thinks of a particular industry trend. He’ll appreciate that you’re trying to learn more about something that matters to him — and it shows that your relationship is built on sharing ideas and experiences together as equals, not just being good friends who happen to share a living space.

Be a good wife because that’s the right thing to do

You should be a good wife because that’s the right thing to do, not because you get something out of it or because you want him to be a good husband in return.

When you think about it, being a good wife is simply the right thing to do. It’s not a competition — you’re not playing against other wives or trying to win some sort of prize at home. Being a good wife has nothing to do with your husband’s behaviour and everything to do with how you conduct yourself as his spouse and partner for life. You don’t need him as much as he needs you, so why would he deserve anything from you?

Courtanae Heslop is a multi-genre writer and business owner. Email her at courtanaewrites@gmail.com.