Do Jamaican men even like women?

WITH more and more reports of violence, disrespect for, and misogynistic acts against women and girls, so much so that many people have normalised deviant behaviours, one question is echoing louder than ever: do men even like women? And not just love women when it suits them, or claim them when they’re quiet and soft, but do they respect women, value them, and see them as full human beings?

“When we look around, the truth is hard to swallow. Violence against women is not only rising, it’s becoming more brazen and commonplace,” said counsellor David Anderson. “Note how every week there’s a new headline depicting some foul act against a woman, and the same cycle plays out: outrage, silence, and then it happens again.“

He said it raises a deep, disturbing question about what kind of culture we have built, where women are not safe in their homes, on the road, in schools, or even online.

Gender studies student Isabel Richards said the normalisation of disrespect is so ingrained, especially in public spaces, that even the women themselves sometimes have an issue when men are called out.

“So a man who’s abusing a young student on a bus, for example, can do it with everyone being aware, and nobody will say anything. And if someone does say something, people may say the girl wants it,” Richards said. “Another example is the teen girls who go missing – big women will be in the comments saying it’s man yard they’re gone to, or will say they’re ‘fast’ or ‘force-ripe,’ ignoring the fact that the children can’t consent.“

Counsellor Gavin Gray said misogyny isn’t always loud or violent, sometimes it’s quiet, and manifests in the way women are treated; ultimately, like they owe men something.

“It’s also in the lyrics we dance to; it’s in the workplace, where too many women still endure harassment; and it’s also in how a woman reporting abuse is often asked, ‘What did you do?’,” Gray said. “We are raising boys who grow into men who believe women are theirs to conquer, not people to partner with.”

Do Jamaican men ‘love man’?

“And that’s why sometimes when dealing with Jamaican men, my friends and I often wonder if really, deep down, dem love man under the quiet,” said master’s student Elizabeth Greene, who will be doing her final paper on the issue, after studying the male species in action.

“Do men really, really like women, or do Jamaican men really love man, and just want women around to keep up an image?”

Anderson said while traditionally, Caribbean men were expected to be heads of the household and anchors to their families, over time, those responsibilities have changed.

“Some men now want the ‘soft life’, and many have turned inward towards ego, pride, and sometimes violence as the main way to define their manhood,” he said. “And some have strayed so much from the path, so far from the truth, that they are competing with the women.”

Responding to Greene’s planned thesis, Anderson said it’s a simple fact that many men were never taught to love women, but instead to use them.

“They become strays, like the dogs they’re often compared to, who use women for food, for sex, for comfort, for status. But as people, as minds, as equals? That’s where the disconnect is,” he said.

Similarly, Gray said too many men don’t know how to handle a woman who can hold her own.

“A woman who says no, a woman who walks away, a woman who sets boundaries and a woman who loves herself is a challenge to a man’s manhood,” Gray said.

“And when his ego is bruised, what fills the gap is often rage, violence, blame and disrespect.”