I have no name

No title,

No, not that name was given me

At the font,

But ’tis usurp’d

— Shakespeare, Richard 11, IV, 1

Somehow having a name of worth or a title behind that name gives some sort of respect, power or esteem to that person. Here in Jamaica we have certain names that inspire awe whenever they are called. There is the talk about the famous 21 families that own Jamaica, and if you have their name, then you’re set for life. No, it’s not Smith, Brown, Jones or even Robinson, but something a little more exotic.

Failing that, it pays to have a few letters behind your name, as that too will add some worth to your existence. These letters are usually acquired by dint of higher learning. But sometimes these letters may not mean what you think that really mean. But first, let’s hear what some readers had to say about ‘What women feel’.

Hail Teerob,

You talk about what women feel, but rarely if ever do you touch on the subject of what men have to go through. Somehow women always get the sympathy of the society, the law, and from other women. Yet it’s men who usually end up getting the shaft. Men do feel too, and when a man falls short in any way, either as a provider, a father, a husband or a lover, his self-esteem really takes a beating. Women feel, yes, but men feel too.

Alrick

Mr Robinson,

Every now and then you show a sensitive side that runs contrary to what you usually write about women. I am happy to see that you recognise that women do feel deeply, and that what they feel isn’t necessarily what men think that they want. No wonder many of us seek solace in other men who are sensitive, or other women. It’s not for the sex, but for the sensitivity and compassion. The male world is full of so many insensitive, uncaring, unfeeling brutes.

Joanna

Teerob,

What women feel indeed. I tried the sensitive route, I tried being the gentleman, I tried to be in touch with my sensitive side and pandered to her needs. And guess what happened? She started seeing a thug behind my back, told me I was soft and boring. So much for what women feel. Ask me how I feel.

Kirk

Playwright Basil Dawkins has a knack for exploring the human condition, and his new play, For Better or Worse, delves into the emotional conflict that erupts when a relationship crumbles. After seeing the play, it got me thinking. Now, people leave people all the time: men leave wives for other women, wives leave for other men. But when your wife leaves you for another woman, as in the play, then your anger is only surpassed by your humiliation and confusion.

How do you categorise those persons? Will it take higher learning, a superior intellect with a whole heap of letters to comprehend and deal with this trauma? Those letters and titles are supposed to make you understand and know more, right? Well, they may or they may not, but common sense is usually the best title to have. The people on the streets have their own spin on these titles of higher learning, and I was privy to them recently.

Throughout the ages, people have been attracted to titles and powerful names. Mr Brown is just plain Mr Brown until he has a title behind his name, then he is somebody. Mr Brown, PhD, LLB, MBA, Duke of Norwich, Earl of Standorf. Now he is somebody. Many genuinely achieve these titles through higher learning, but others simply get them through fraud, all because it gives pomp and ceremony to their existence.

It was just recently that a scam was discovered here where people can buy degrees for $400,000. This has been going on for years overseas, and they are so brazen that they even advertise in some tabloids and magazines. Well, true to form, we now have it here on our fair isle. But there’s also a different side to these letters, and you’d better beware when you see them after some people’s names, for the meaning may not be what you think.

It was just recently that a scam was discovered here where people can buy degrees for $400,000. This has been going on for years overseas, and they are so brazen that they even advertise in some tabloids and magazines. Well, true to form, we now have it here on our fair isle. But there’s also a different side to these letters, and you’d better beware when you see them after some people’s names, for the meaning may not be what you think.

Let’s take the esteemed PhD. This simply means Pretty Hot and Demanding, and applies to women who have the looks, know that they have what it takes, but take so much from men. These women go through life living off their beauty only, and expect men to pay their way through everything. It’s done with such ease, that they almost aren’t even aware that they are demanding. As soon as you meet them, they expect to be wined, dined and showered with gifts, yet they give nothing in return, as in their minds, it’s a privilege just to be in their company.

They expect their rent to be paid, their groceries to be bought, and even the car that they drive was bought by some man. And yes, he’s expected to service it too. They demand so much, and these demands are met by gullible, grateful men who think that by lavishing on them, they will keep them. But these PhD women are there only as long as their demands can be met. The irony is, there are also many hot, beautiful women who are not demanding, but they can’t find a man, all because men assume that they fall into the category of the PhDs.

Which leads right into the BSc, which applies to both men and women. The BSc means, Better Send Cash, and these people are shameless with their requests. Usually the person with the BSc lives overseas, or at least at a distance. The man with the BSc always has some story, some scheme, why he needs cash to ‘either get back on his feet’ or start some business project. There’s always a need for a loan and invariably it doesn’t get paid back. The stories of ‘house being built, so please send money’, are rife. The money is sent for years, and when the person returns to see the house, all that’s there is an open lot.

For some reason, women always fall into the trap and end up giving these men tons of money. “Sweetheart, you know I care, and it takes cash to care.” Many of these men at times earn more than the women, but somehow they always seem to need more cash. And the women always oblige. Gentlemen, also beware of the BSc, as many young girls have these letters behind their names nowadays.

The MBA is in demand, but the MBA is most dangerous and is not gender specific. Yes, the MBA means Married But Available, and it seems that more and more people, men and women, are having these letters behind their names. Sometimes I wonder why people even bother to get married, if in a few short years they get their MBAs. This applies to men and women, and it saddens the heart to see the numbers that fall into this category.

I’m not old-fashioned or an old fuddy-duddy, and I do know that after years of marriage, things can get stale. So even though it’s wrong, I can understand and see the logic of someone married for 20-odd years and being an MBA. But getting married and becoming an MBA within two to three years is disheartening. “Hi, I’m Errol, MBA”….wink wink, nudge nudge, smile smile.

Of course, the female MBAs are more subtle and you have to probe a bit deeper to find out who they are, but they are also there, and the letters follow their names. When I ask them why, many cannot give a serious reason, but the most prevalent answer usually is, “I wasn’t getting enough attention from my husband.” For some reason, MBAs need constant attention, and the moment that is lacking, she seeks it elsewhere.

The BA may be the best letters to have, as they mean ‘best assets’. Both men and women can fall into this category, and best assets do not necessarily mean only physical attributes either. A woman can have great assets in the looks department yes, but her qualities are even more important. When a man can find such a woman, he should give thanks.

“My girl has no PhD, no BSc and thank heaven, no MBA, but she has a BA, and that’s why she’s my girl,” boasted one man to me. For ladies, a man with a BA is good to find too, but they complain that they’re so rare. So folks, it’s all in the letters and what they really mean. Do not take them at face value, for those letters of higher learning are not what you think they mean.

Now, what letters go behind the name of a woman who leaves her man for another woman? I shall have to research that further.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: It’s such a sad state of affairs when men resort to killing women. Over the years I have touched on the subject of the human condition, of how emotions can get the better of people, but to see it played out in real life is scary. The cases of murder/suicide are alarming and only show the inherent emotional weakness of our men. Whatever hurt you feel, why not just walk away? What does killing her and yourself achieve but countless grief? But I guess the French were right when they categorised those crimes as crimes of passion, and treat them differently. All logic and reasoning seem to fly out the window and madness flies in. On a different note, I see where Jamaica College is trying to instil discipline by suspending some students for flouting the dress code and parents are protesting. Parents must butt out and leave the running of the school to the principal and the administrators. JC is improving by leaps and bounds. Do not drag it back down.