For several years now, I have been involved with organising wine tastings, wine dinners and other wine-related events. During this time I had a range of negative experiences as they relate to table manners and social etiquette that need some explanation and clarification.

Does RSVP matter?

RSVP stands for a French phrase, “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” which means “please reply”. Just about all of our wine events have a specific number of seats or a set physical space capacity, so we would always like to know, as accurately as is possible, how many persons are attending. We need to know this simply so that we will have enough stemware, wine, and food for all attendees. More important, though, for other type of events is the simple courtesy of responding to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you regret that you will not be able to attend. I recently had an upset patron who complained that the wine glasses had ran out and so he had to use a water glass for his wine. I paused for a moment before responding. I asked him if he had RSVPed, and he said he had not. I then explained that only 20 persons confirmed that they were attending, so I thought I was safe by providing 50 glasses, only to have 56 persons show up. There was no further complaint from him. On another note, don’t RSVP for one person and then arrive with four persons.

Arrival Time

There seems to be a great misunderstanding about arrival times to events and parties. My decades spent as a sound system DJ taught me that no one in Jamaica arrives at the time that is printed on the invitation for a party. This has become accepted at these types of events.

Events such as dinners, wine tastings and presentation ceremonies are totally different. These events have a set agenda with a beginning a middle and an end. When I started conducting my wine seminars there were a few occasions when persons would call me to say that they were “passing through later”. I hastily explained that “this is not a ‘pass-through’ type of event, it’s not a party. I have a table with 20 spaces and I need to know if you are attending for the three hours or not.”

At wine tastings we usually pour a number of different wines. If you are late you might get there when wine number four of six is being poured, so the host will now have to get a new set of stemware, and if they have any left, begin pouring from wine number one just for you and our party.

Some hosts, however, have created a bad reputation by not being ready at the time they indicated, so guests are always late for their events; let this not be you.

At the table

While a lot has been written about table settings and the like, some persons are still confused as to which is their bread plate and water glass. A little trick I was taught and have been passing on is this: if you hold up both hands and touch your index finger to the thumb on the same hand while holding the rest of your figures straight up, your left hand will form a “b” (for bread) and your right hand will form a “d” (for drink). You will never eat your neighbour’s bread again.

It is polite to wait until all have been served before you start eating. However, if you are at a large table, six or more, once three persons have been served, the host may indicate to the table to start eating so as not to let the food get cold.

The napkin

As soon as you are seated, place the napkin on your lap; at a formal dining event the wait staff will usually do it for you. Do not tuck it in your collar or between the buttons in your shirt and DO NOT wipe your face or blow your nose in the napkin, it is not a washcloth or your handkerchief.

Cheers! Please RSVP to your invitations and arrive on time.

What I am drinking this week:

Rustenberg John X Merriman 2005

Recently I have been going through my collection and trying to taste most of the wines that I have never had before, so I took up the bottle of Rustenberg, opened and poured it and POW ! I was hit with a big, juicy full-bodied wine that exceeded my expectations.

Then I read the back of the bottle.

In the bottle, this wine is a Bordeaux-style blend with 54 per cent Merlot, 33 per cent Cabernet Sauvignon, 6 per cent Petit Verdot, 4 per cent Cabernet Franc, 3 per cent Malbec. A classic vintage. The Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon were very typical of Rustenberg and will be long aging if cellared correctly. The 2005 sees a higher percentage of Petit Verdot which provides the palate with freshness and its natural acidity contributes to the very long finish of this wine. As usual, the aromatics are complex and typical of Rustenberg terroir. The wine will age beautifully and will continue to improve in the bottle.

Chris Reckord is an independent wine consultant who operates DeVine Wine Services with his wife Kerri-Anne. Chris & Kerri are also part owners of Jamaica’s first and only wine-only bar -Bin 26 Wine Bar. Please send your questions and comments to creckord@gmail.com. Follow us on twitter.com/DeVineWines