Dear Mrs Macaulay,

My child’s father died and his parents want visits with our child. I am against this as they never treated me well during the time their son was alive. I don’t trust them around my child, and I would just like to move on. If they take me to court, is there a chance that they could get visitation with the child? The father’s name is on the birth certificate, and our child has his surname.

It is astonishing how so many interpersonal problems are caused because so many people do not have the good sense to treat everyone they encounter in life with courtesy and respect. How could these grandparents expect that you would automatically be respectful and nice to them when they were not that way with you? But your babyfather should have also set his parents right and insisted that they treat you with respect and courtesy.

You and his parents have to now deal with their desire to have access with their grandchild, which would grant your child the right to have a relationship with the paternal relatives in a way and manner which would benefit and enhance their development.

I must point out clearly to you that grandparents have the legal right to ask for access to/visits with their grandchildren, and it is also your child’s legal right to develop and have a relationship with both maternal and paternal grandparents. These relationships are generally accepted as being in the best interests of all children unless they are completely undesirable, or it would be unsafe for the child to be with them.

You have asked if they take you to court, whether they would obtain an access order (visitation). Yes, they generally would get the order unless they are proved to be undesirable. But why wait for them to make the application to the court? My advice to you is that you should go to your Family Court and have them assist you to make the application yourself, and in this way ensure that you obtain the order formalised in the manner and for the times you choose as suitable, and not just have it all imposed on you according to their wishes.

So please act responsibly and tell the court everything, and about their bad treatment of you, and that though you recognise that the family relationship is important, it must be properly fixed so as to be in your child’s best interests and safety at all times.

I hope you will act accordingly to obtain an order which is the safest means to ensure that they always act as the order dictates, as only the court can make changes to it. If you only have a written or verbal agreement with them, they can ignore it more easily. If they break the order of the court, they would be acting in contempt and you can get the court to sanction them for it.

So go and have the order made that the paternal grandparents can see your child on the days and times you choose. The whole process is free of charge. Take your child’s certified birth certificate with you. The clerk will assist you to draft the necessary documents.

All the very best to you and your child.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. Mrs Macaulay cannot provide private, personal responses.