To flaming youth,

Let virtue be as wax

And melt in her own fire.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet III,4

YOUTH and virtue hardly seem to go hand in hand, but let’s face it, every man wants a young woman by his side, and those who say otherwise are lying, or are afraid that their wives may hear of their desires.

This notion is corroborated by the very fact that men will always take a younger woman when they get divorced or when their wives pass on. We see it all the time, sometimes splashed across our social pages when Mr & Mrs So and So tie the knot, and you are hard-pressed to discern who is the groom’s daughter and who is the bride. In some cases, the groom’s son has a new stepmother who is younger than he is.

It’s a fact of life; men will always gravitate to younger women, or is it the other way around? Who came first, the chick or the old guy with egg on his face? Is it that the young girls are seeking older men, and the men aren’t even aware that they are not the hunters, but the hunted, prey to the young and dangerous? We’ll find out right after these letters.

Oh Tony, Tony, Tony,

What is wrong with you? Regarding your article on ‘Desperate Measures’, you let it seem as if all women over a certain age are suddenly desperate and have to have a man at any cost, regardless of his stripe, hue or status. Sure, Sharon Leach entertained the DVD delivery boy, but so what? That doesn’t make her desperate, but merely exercising her right of choice. As you pointed out, men have been doing it forever, so why is it news when a woman does it, and why is the word desperate even mentioned? Women have come of age, and can make their own choices, but some men just can’t handle it.

Karen

Tony,

Your article ‘How to Leave’, was most sensitive and struck home with me. I have just come out of a five-year relationship and still have not fully recovered, even after seven months. It’s so difficult, and like a piece of my heart was ripped out and hung out to dry. It’s akin to someone dying. The poets lie; parting is NOT sweet sorrow, but just grief and sorrow.

Colleen

Teerob,

Regarding your footnote on our Culture of Shame, I fully agree with the author Michael Franklin. I am no prude, but he is dead on. I might not agree with all of his suggestions, but there must be a limitation on the practice of children gyrating like that, and how it affects our youth. This is definitely not acceptable behaviour for children and the type that adults must rein in for themselves. There is nothing culturally uplifting in uninhibited public sexual gyrating to music, and the author is right in questioning this act.

Colin T Bent

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Last week I mentioned the fact that many young girls were at the centre of acts of violence that led to the demise of older men. Many cases have been reported in the news, and in every single one of them, a young girl of age 21 to 25 was involved, leaving many unanswered questions.

In some cases, the girl was also a victim, as when she threatened to end the relationship with the older man, he simply lost his cool and did her in. But in most of the reports, the older man got the rotten end of the stick as the young girl either did him in, or some young ex-lover of hers did the foul deed.

This led to many people revealing their stories to me about the dangers of pursuing young girls. The practice is more prevalent than you’d imagine and many tales are hilarious if you can get past the inherent tragedy of the situation. No wonder they are called tragi-comedies.

But apparently the young girls have flipped the equation as they have turned around and are pursuing older men with unprecedented zeal. Why? Because there’s profit in it, and the gold rush is on. Talk about Cash for Gold, this is something else for gold, and there’s profit in it.

This man in his early 50s told me how he met this young lady at a club and she approached him smiling, striking up a conversation. She must have been in her early 20s, he told me. So after they danced and chatted, he offered to take her home. When they approached her road, she told him to drop her off at the corner and she would walk the rest of the way. He found it odd, for it was 3:00 am, but she gave some story about her roommate being nosy and blah blah blah, lie lie lie.

The very next morning he was most surprised to receive a text from her asking for a loan of $10,000 to fill a prescription for her acne medication. The man, now most irate, told her, “Listen, I just met you, I don’t even know if you’re a man or woman, yet you’re sending me invoice for work that don’t do yet?!” Luckily he was a man of experience, and saw her ploy. But sadly, many older men fail to grasp and detect the wiles of these dangerous young girls and fall prey to them.

Another friend of mine in his late 60s was at a restaurant having a late-night meal when a girl in her 20s started to give him the come hither look… the eye. She clearly saw him as a target and moved in for the kill. Same story as my first friend: after one date, she rolled out her invoice book and regaled him with stories about being a little behind on her rent and asked if he could advance her a payday loan.

What is surprising is that many of these girls are not from the ‘lower socio-economic class’, as people like to put it, but from so-called ‘good families’, and even attending university. But it’s their way of life and there’s profit in it.

There are so many young girls who have had their entire university education paid for by these stupid, gullible older men, who think that these women really love them. What in heaven’s name does a girl of 20 see in a man of 60, except his house, car and bank account? And after he has financed her through college, she decides to break off the relationship, and all hell breaks loose. That’s why some of these men go crazy and do horrible things, it’s because they feel used, abused, and humiliated.

“Imagine, after I invest so much money in this girl, put her through school for four years, she just want to leave me so…take big man fi punk, like me is ATM!” The tragic, if not comedic irony is, both may see each other as an investment. She sees him as her ticket to a better education and life, and he sees paying those school fees as a ticket to his dreams… a young, smooth-skinned girl in his bed.

If men don’t have their wits about them, these dangerous young girls will sink their claws into them and take them for all they’ve got. Some may say they deserve it, for if you play with puppy, puppy will lick your mouth. But apart from the fiscal folly, there are other dangers that these young girls bring to the table.

In many cases these men are married, and their young 20-year-old girlfriend happens to get pregnant. Now all hell breaks loose as she starts to make even greater demands on him. “I’m going to call your wife and tell her about us,” or “Next time I see your children, I’m going to tell them that they have a baby brother.”

Serves him right for getting involved with a girl one-third his age, you may say, as a mature woman would never do that, but young girls are fearless, and women without fear are dangerous. The other danger is when the young girl decides to stick it for the long haul, and even when the older man wants to call it quits, she ain’t going anywhere. She sees marriage, house, name, status. “Oh no, you aren’t going to dump me for someone younger…I am in it for the long haul.”

So there you see them shopping in the supermarket, he is now 70 years old, she is not yet 30, and their child is still in the pram. She got what she wanted and he got what he deserved. When she’s 40, and still in her prime, he’ll be 80 years old, if he makes it that far. It was just a few months ago that I saw a lady friend who asked my advice about her legal rights, as her ‘boyfriend’ was now 83 years old, never married her, and was in the departure lounge, as they call it. She was terrified about her future, so I directed her to a lawyer friend of mine.

But danger or not, the practice is not going to stop, for the allure is too great. It’s a boost to a man’s ego to be able to squire a young girl still in her 20s, when he’s pushing 60. Truth be told, it’s easier for her to snare him than the other way around. Take away his wealth and he would have no chance getting a woman that young.

“What would I be doing with a poor old man…do I look stupid to you?” So all she has to do is target the older man of means, throw out her bait and reel him in…and they are biting.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Our theatre never ceases to amaze me and I have had the pleasure and privilege of working with greats like the late Trevor Rhone, Charles Hyatt and many others now long gone. But the legacy lives on. I caught closing night of Jamaica Farewell, written and performed by Debra Ehrardt, and was simply blown away. It’s a one-woman show, but you’d think that you were in a movie. She masterfully told her tale that kept the audience entranced, titillated, mesmerised and awestruck. Her show was only here for one weekend, but it left an indelible mark on our theatre landscape, as it was drama at its best. She’s now on a world tour bringing a slice of Jamaica to far-off audiences. Shifting to cinema, our moviegoers continue to provide as much entertainment as the movies. Movies like The Expendables, Salt, and Inception had Carib Cinema jumping for weeks as they offered old time ‘shoot ’em up, beat ’em up, kick ’em down, blow them ‘up non-stop action that had the patrons jumping. Our theatre and cinema, so vibrant, so exciting, so necessary.