Dear TEENage,

I am a fraternal twin, and I’m the quiet, introvert one in the duo, while my sister is bubbly enough for both of us.

I like being out of the limelight though and since my sister and I go to different schools, I don’t mind that when persons don’t know me because that helps to ensure that rumours don’t start about me.

Although at school I am quiet, reading or in my own little world with few people, I am open and responsive and a bit more extroverted when I’m with my family.

Recently my sister and I turned 16 and, of course, a grand sweet 16 party was held (mostly due to the excitement from my sister and mother) where I met a lot of people.

One of my sister’s friends showed much interest in me and since then, we talk regularly and have gone out with my sister and her other friends.

But I am a bit unsure about what his intentions are and where this is going. I am still a virgin and I’ve never had a boyfriend before. but I think when I told him about us being ‘a perfect couple’ it may have turned him off a bit.

How can I find out where he wants this to go? I really don’t want to waste my time or feelings.

— Boy Trouble

Dear Boy Trouble,

First to note is that there’s nothing wrong with being shyer than your twin, it is actually very normal for twins to be different.

In relation to what you call ‘boy trouble’, maybe you need to think about the relationship as a friendship first. Remember that you guys just met and anything is possible. He may be a major crush now, but who knows what will happen in a few weeks.

Take some time to get to know him, find out about all the aspects of his personality, his likes and dislikes and all that. You can probably ask your twin for her help in finding out more about him.

After getting more information, and of course, telling him about you, then you can find out if another relationship can come out of the friendship you would have already built.

We think one of your concerns may be that he wants more than just a simple friendship, but less than romantic relationships… don’t sweat it.

Remember that if he can’t spend the time to get to know you or be friends with you then sexual relations will get the relationship nowhere.

All in all, try not to rush things and take it all one day at a time. Be sure that you don’t give in to anything you are not comfortable with and if he begins to pressure you about anything, let him be… they’re thousands of other guys out there to choose from.

TEENage Advise Team