IF you haven’t been enjoying the Christmas breeze we’ve been experiencing recently here on our tropical paradise, then “half a yuh life gaan” as we Jamaicans say.

How come my light bill stay the same and my fan has been gathering cobweb since the nice, chilly nights have rolled in? How come? Hopefully, this will be rectified on my next statement because all socks get a wear out since this week in an effort to keep my toes warm and cosy. I am loving every minute of this, albeit temporary, climatic change although it has made me and my shower bitter enemies. Every morning it’s a war, but I still hope it will last until mid to late April. Wishful thinking, I know, but I’m an optimist. If it is so nice and cool all the way down at sea level here in good old Portmore, then the people in Manchester and other hilly areas of the country are supposed to be sporting winter gear. The people of Castleton certainly won’t be in need of the cake soap or the air conditioning to have an oil-free, smooth complexion.

Speaking of Castleton, what is this I hear that the goodly soldiers of Up Park Camp, home of the Jamaica Defence Force since Independence, may be relocated to a site out by Ferry? Once again my ignorance of current affairs will shine right to the fore, but I really don’t care much. I’m sure my more informed readers will clue me in via my inbox elvachatalot@yahoo.com. If the rumour is true, then I hope it happens at a time when the country can best afford it, present financial conditions will not permit this to be without dire consequences. A lot of maps will have to be adjusted if Camp, as it is fondly called, is relocated from the site it has held from Noah built the Ark. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against change, if a country fails to change it fails to grow, so nothing is wrong with us assessing Camp’s present situation and addressing it with a view to making the army more efficient and the residents more secure and comfortable. But this seems like a mammoth project that will require billions of US dollars and years to complete. Based on my country’s history with contracts, it takes millions of foreign dollars to construct a mere perimeter wall around a basic school, so I dread the figure that the contractor that wins this bid will be quoting. We will be eternally in debt to work that loan off.

I don’t know if any of you have been to Up Park Camp, but if you haven’t, do not believe that the visage from South Camp Road is the extent of Camp. They have an Olympic swimming pool, airplane hangars, landing strip, barracks for hundreds of men, an armoury… oh the list goes on forever. I wonder if we (the Government) even took the time to explore the option of refurbishing the present headquarters or expanding the site by acquiring lands around it. I’ll never know how these things are done and since the new trend among ministers is to shun audit groups, then I doubt I ever will.

Then the same little bird that carried the news about the alleged relocation also garbled something about the present site being turned into a housing complex called Golding Gardens to honour the current prime minister. That part I know could not be true. For one, the days of garrisons and garrison housing should be behind us. Have we learned nothing from the West Kingston plan? Secondly, that is an historic site, which, in my opinion, if redeveloped should be an extension of the existing neighbour the library or should house an educational institution, certainly not a housing complex. Golding Gardens *snickering* that name or any other personalised title would make the PM sound like an egotistical man….is he?

I hope someone will tweet @ElvaJamaica or email me some positive news regarding this situation so that the soldiers and I can continue to go about our assigned duties. Have a great weekend.