Do you not know

That I am a woman?

When I think,

I must speak.

— Shakespeare, As You Like It III, 2

AND with those words, the women’s liberation movement was formed. “When I think, I must speak,” and women have not held back their words, opinions, anger and angst since then.

Well, I’m not really sure if the movement started with those words, but it very well could have, for if that isn’t a battle cry, a warning, to herald the dawn of a new day for women, then I don’t know what is. Of course I’m referring to Western women, for women are still subjugated and humiliated in some areas of the globe, as they have been for millennia.

They are to be seen and not heard, be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen all the time. Even in the Western world, women couldn’t vote until a few years ago. But they found a voice, and feminists like Germaine Greer, Kate Millet and others rose up from the slumber of domesticity, burned their bras and sounded the clarion call of women.

Women were now liberated and all was well with the world. But for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. It’s a basic law of physics and indeed a law of nature. Something’s gotta give. Women’s lib, men’s loss? That’s what we’ll explore today, right after these responses to my last rants.

Hi Tony,

As usual I love reading your articles and really smiled a lot while reading this last one about pleasing a man. Very true about stroking a man’s ego. Wish I’d known about this when I was married. However, it seems contrived, and I’m a real person who has a hard time being fake and playing games. How is it you criticise women for playing games, yet advise us to stroke the ego of men, which is essentially patronising them? Maybe what you meant to say is that the woman should maximise the positives, even if he has a few, and minimise the negative, even if there are many. That would be my advice with my experience.

Anna

Hey Teerob,

I think that the feminist movement has added to women’s lack of tact and softness with their men. Our mothers’ and grandmothers’ era of catering to a man, feeding him, saying nice things to him…is that a thing of the past? Some of us women feel as if because we have careers and can be independent, that we have a right to demand what we deserve and put down the men, since, “We don’t need them.” The smart woman will realise that we CAN be empowered and still be feminine and soft, gentle with our men, and conscious of the ‘wiring’ that men are born with…to feel like the provider and the hero in a woman’s life. Always make him feel that he is worthy, and if he doesn’t feel worthy, you don’t erode his maleness at the core. It doesn’t take away from being an “empowered woman”…it just makes you a smart, compassionate, empowered woman.

Lois

And so the pendulum has swung, the phoenix has risen from the ashes, the mouse has roared. But at what cost? I am the first to admit that women have received a raw deal throughout the ages, and in some areas of the world they continue to suffer at the hands of cruel, oppressive regimes. I will explore that at a later date.

But I also say that women in the Western world have made great strides in many fields and have not only surpassed men in many areas, but have risen to the pinnacle of power by becoming the maximum leaders in their various countries. So many nations boast female prime ministers now that I’ve lost count. Many are known for their great strength of character and powerful leadership qualities.

Who remembers Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher of Britain, known as the Iron Lady, or Israel’s Golda Meir? And yet, something seems to have given, the balance shifted, knocked off its kilter, because of this rise and dominance of women. Did they come on too strong when they clamoured for liberation?

Oh, in years gone by they took to the streets and marched, burned their bras, refused to wear dresses and donned the uniform of the corporate man…the business suit. They cropped their hair short and puffed cigarettes and swilled beer as well as any man, if not better. They discovered their sexuality and knew exactly what they wanted, and also who or what they did not want. Even in the bedroom they chose to be on top most of the time.

They made inroads into professions that were once the domain of men, as they drove big rig trucks, huge buses, tractors, bulldozers, cranes, flew jumbo jets and even became astronauts. Were they in effect becoming men? And what were they being liberated from? And what happened to those men who were displaced?

Well, for all intents and purposes, the bra-burning, man-hating, clenched-fist era of the women’s lib movement has all but faded into obscurity, but the effects still linger on, even after many decades, and it is to the detriment of many men. Perhaps it’s just one huge coincidence, but it’s a startling fact that women have basically taken over academia.

The number of females in tertiary institutions far outstrip the men, with about three quarters of the population of our universities being women. This brought rise to the panicked cry of the men, who saw their position being threatened. Too late, it’s a done deal as the mare has bolted. The hue and cry is that the males are being marginalised, the boys have lost their spunk and the females have taken over. Somehow the balance of power has shifted, and he who wore the pants, now only pants, sits up and begs, when his master, make that mistress, tells him what to do.

Just check out our schools and see the ratio of teachers…it’s more females than males by far. And yet we expect our young boys to become men. It isn’t going to happen, and all the talking and postulating won’t change it one iota. Back in my days at high school we had male principals, male sports masters, and a slew of male teachers who showed us how to be men. How can we expect our boys to become men when all they see around them are female principals, games mistresses and female teachers?

Pretty soon we’ll have an all-male netball competition being played in our boys’ schools, plus an increase in boys taking home economics and needlework as their first subjects. Then when the boys go home it’s more female influence bombarding them, even when there’s a father in the home. Oh yes, the phenomenon of absentee fathers is not new in our culture, but in this modern era of post-women’s lib, the fathers have been shunted to the shadows, the back room, the closet, for the women have been liberated and know everything…even how to be fathers.

Hey, in their defence, some of them are forced to step up and assume the mantle of responsibility, for some men are such lily-livered, weak, snivelling cowards that it hurts the heart to see them around their wives. So I don’t blame some women for manning up, if the men won’t man-up. But Lord knows, some women really take it too far and do their best to emasculate, put down and crush their men into submission.

But it’s a weak man who allows that. Check out some households where there’s a wife, three daughters, no son, and see what the husband has become…another daughter. He has no opinion for himself, cannot make a decision without asking for his wife’s approval and basically cannot make a move without her. And if by chance there is a son in the mix, he too is so wishy-washy and so subjugated that if and when he leaves the nest, he leaves it as a half man…not quite a man.

Hey, if you doubt me just look around at the boys in our society and you’ll see it. To make it worse, the mothers like to keep them that way, as little sissies, little girlie boys, and reject all efforts of men to intervene in the boy’s life. Is it any wonder why we are in this predicament?

Look how our boys are dressing, you can’t tell who is he or who is she, as they rival the girls with their feminine ways. Do you think that it’s simply by chance, an accident of nature? Oh no, for every cause there is an effect. I have never seen so many feminine-looking boys and men since I have been studying societies and history.

Do you know that many modern-day boys and young men don’t even know how to fight, never got a bust head, never fell and busted their mouth, never walked barefoot in a downpour, never cut their bare feet on broken glass or prickles? Oh no, their mothers would never allow their little darlings to shed a little blood. I’m not advocating violence, far from it, yet a good fist fight is a rite of passage for manhood. They build great memories and some of my best friends right now are guys who I used to have fights with in school.

We can now laugh about it. Yet, because of the strong influence of women, compounded by the abdication of the men in the household, the women now say, “Oh, I always taught him not to get into any conflict or confrontations.” Hey, that’s all well and good, but sometimes confrontations get into you and you are forced to defend yourself or your loved one…then what do you do? Teaching the boys the manly arts will also reduce the use of weapons as a means of solving problems.

Maybe I’m barking up the wrong tree, maybe I’m blaming the women’s lib movement for the failures of the men in our society, when I should be blaming the failures of the men for the reason for women to need to be liberated. But what is true, if they didn’t burn their bras and rise up in numbers against men, there wouldn’t be this emasculation and depreciation of the spirit of many men in our midst.

And by the way, many of the feminists of yesteryear are no more, as they sold out, got married and are living happily ever…well let’s just say that they’re living ever after. Also, please read that second letter up top again and you’ll see that it’s a woman who pointed out this woman’s lib influence on society. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Hey, I’m not going ethnic here, but we all know of the dominance of China and its goods and manufactured products worldwide. They have flooded the world market, but it comes with a cost, as at times quality is compromised. Well, there’s also a size issue. Just last week I bought a pair of karate Safe-T foot covers used as protection while sparring. They’re like boxing gloves for the feet. I always bought extra large in the USA, so when I went to a store here and asked for extra large, I was taken aback. It looked like a medium and barely covered my feet. Made in China, I was told, so their extra large is our medium. Luckily I wasn’t buying condoms.