Go not to my uncle’s bed,

Assume a virtue if you have it not.

– Shakespeare, Hamlet III, 4

ASSUME a virtue if you don’t have one. Do not go to the man’s room, stay away from his bed, do not be a perennial pushover, a convenient conquest, a pass around donkey, an easy lay. So many things have been said about people who give it up too easily, to wit, have sex too easily with people who they just met. “For heaven’s sake lady, have a little virtue nuh, don’t just give it away so easy.”

Who am I fooling here when I say people? Those things aren’t said about men, but about women. In fact, a man who makes love to a woman upon first meeting her is congratulated, slapped on the back, and told ‘How great thou art’. Plus, if you have a son and a daughter and they both sleep around, guess who you chastise more? Boys sow their wild oats, girls keep their virtue.

Those praises are not accorded to women who are negatively described by epithets not fit for air play, but by the more acceptable term, an easy lay. I do not make the rules, neither do I stand in judgement of anyone. I am merely the harbinger of tidings, whether they be ill or not, fair or foul, good or bad, wrong or right.

The easy lay, that’s who we’ll pursue today, right after these responses to “Ungrateful Children”.

Hey Tony,

It is shameful and selfish how those ungrateful children treat their parents who sacrificed everything to provide a better life for them. Many parents today are wise to the ways of their kids and plan financially for their retirement and old age so that they do not have to depend on their kids. Part of their plan is to spend on themselves and to enjoy what remains of their life, leaving no inheritance for their ungrateful children.

Gregory

Teerob,

I do agree that there are ungrateful children, and they are to be chastised and vilified. However, there are also those parents whose ingratitude has no limits. The more you give them is the more they want, and then they turn around and curse you. I have done everything for my mother, I continue to do, and will never stop as long as I am able. But all she does is curse, criticise and verbally abuse me. This has gone on for years and I don’t know why. She resents my accomplishments and belittles me every chance she gets. Ungrateful parents also exist.

Patricia

There was a time in my life when I had to pursue members of the fairer sex. Oh for the thrill of the chase during those teenage and young man years of splashing on cologne, primping the afro, the taking out to the movies at Carib Cinema, dinner, dancing, and hopefully a

fun-filled night of ribald rumblings. It was a game of catch me if you can, and you had better come on good while doing it too. It was a different time, a different era, a different type of woman.

Well, I’m happily married now with all my wild oats sown, and as my wife likes to say, “I get him at the right time.” I’ve been off the market for a pretty long time, but based on my observations and also speaking to not only my peers but to the younger generation, there does appear to be a quantum shift in how women approach sex nowadays. Remember that word virtue, and how some women would hold on to it. That’s why brides wore white, to show their virtue and purity.

As my bredrin told me in reference to this loss of virtue, “Man nuh look woman anymore; is woman running down man now.” No longer is there even an illusion of the chase, where the man pursues the woman until SHE catches him. Remember, I said illusion of the chase. Now the women cut right to the chase. There is no pursuit on the part of the man, as all he has to do is show up and the woman says yes. “Listen, I don’t have any time to beat around the bush. Just get straight to the point and straight to bed,” say some women.

I got it first hand, a ringside, box seat, grandstand view of all this a few weeks ago, and any illusion that I may have had that the new game plan by women wasn’t true was quickly dispelled as I witnessed it up close.

A male relative of mine spent a few weeks with us, so I had the duty of taking him around town. It was his first time back here in many years, so he was really wide eyed and bushy tailed. So was I, for it was quite a learning experience for me, as everywhere that we went, young women who he just met would eagerly offer up their phone numbers, names and addresses. I kid you not. All he had to do was ask and out came the information. Some made sure to write it down so he wouldn’t forget, and one even offered to spend the night with him, even though she just met him.

I hovered over him, partly for his protection and also in rapt fascination at the behaviour of these women. What easy lays these women are, I mused. They certainly weren’t around when I was a younger man and on the market. And I’m glad for that fact. After all, who enjoys shooting fish in a barrel? It’s the thrill of the chase that was exciting, and the occasional rejection that added to the excitement and also brought me down to earth, so that I could work on a different game plan.

The easy lays in our time of yesteryear were labelled in the most unflattering way, and even now I can still remember the names given to one girl. Truppance, we would call her, as all you had to do was give her a threepennny coin or thruppance and well….you connect the dots.

Easy lays were few and far between, and truth be told, we avoided them, as they were not really respected. But this is a new era, with a generation of girls cum women who simply do not pussyfoot around, but go after what they want.

I must admit that tall handsome man that I am, young women still come on to me, but because I don’t pursue it, I don’t know how far they’d go. But hanging out with my younger cousin for two weeks really showed the extent to which these young women will throw away their virtue. He just met them, young women from all walks of life, who texted, called, visited, whispered sweet nothings in his ear after a chance encounter. It sounds

far-fetched, but it’s the

gospel truth.

And guess what, some men are easy lays too, for other men, as promiscuity is extremely high among the gay community based on research. In my column, Sexploitation, I gave a hypothetical example of a straight man going out to dinner and drinks with a gay man, then ending up naked in the man’s bed the next morning. I posited that it was the straight man’s fault and even used the analogy of putting cream at puss mouth. Well, I was roundly criticised by some readers for suggesting that, only to discover that the actual event really did happen.

Lo and behold, a man wrote the medical advice column in the Gleaner’s Outlook Magazine of Sunday August 16, saying that while on a business trip overseas, he went to dinner with the client, and ended up naked in the man’s hotel room the next morning after having sex. “Should I tell my wife about the episode?” he asked the doctor. Now ladies, I put it to you, your husband comes home from a business trip and tells you that he woke up in bed naked with a male client and is now filled with guilt. What would be your reaction?

So whether you’re male or female, easy lays are now the order of the day and no longer is there any courting, wooing and ‘looking’ a woman. Now the tables have turned with some even dining under the table. And then we wonder why STDs and HIV/AIDS are still rampant. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: I know that the World Netball Series has come and gone, and our Sunshine Girls didn’t do as well as we would have liked. They barely scraped by Malawi by one point and were soundly beaten by England in the third-place match by over 20 points. We were all disappointed. But what was unforgivable was the reaction by some of our own Jamaicans who posted the most vile and disgusting comments, including threats, on social media. All this from people who I’m sure never played a sport in their entire lives. Even the Australians and New Zealanders were in shock that some Jamaicans could treat their own countrywomen that way. But is so some of us stay. Disgusting. They only love you when you win. Speaking of winning….Usain Bolt is the greatest sprinter of all time.