(This is a lightly edited version of a presentation at the Leaders to Leaders Speaker Series last Wednesday at the Jamaica Pegasus Hotel in St Andrew)

AS women, we are usually faced with the decision of pursuing a successful career or staying home as a full-time homemaker or as possibly even working only on a part time basis.

The fact of the matter is that as women, we bear the responsibility for childbearing and in some cases, all of the responsibility for child rearing. We are also, in most cases, the ones with the responsibility of taking care of our ageing parents. So, it is always interesting to look at the topic of career choice on personal and family life from the perspective of a woman.

As women, we sometimes ask ourselves can we do it? Can we have a career and still effectively take care of our personal and family life? Can we successfully do this? The funny thing is men never get asked that question … I guess, it is the way of the world.

Let me step back a bit and examine the topic at the macro level. In 1965 there were about 26 million women in the US labour force, at that time they made up 35 per cent of the labour force. Almost 50 years later, in 2013, that number increased to 72.7 million and 47 per cent of the labour force.

In Jamaica today there are 1.3 million persons in the labour force of which approximately 589,000 are women, which is 45 per cent of the total Jamaican labour force.

When we examine the data, we are seeing an increase in the women participation rates. This is driven to some extent by efforts of the government over the last few decades in pushing social and legislative reforms in areas such as: maternity leave with pay equity in gender compensation and inclusion of girls in the education system.

On a lighter but important note, some inventions in science and technology have also resulted in simplifying household chores and, therefore, have created more time for women to work outside of the home. And we think of things that we now take for granted like the washing machine, microwave, ceramic tiles, “new hard wood”. Some of the more mature persons in the audience from rural areas will remember when hard wood was hard wood, and the great effort and time it took to make them shine.

When we examine the issue of women choosing to work outside the home we must admit that it is very positive.

Khalil Gibran, in his book The Prophet, wrote:

“Always you have been told that work is a curse and labour and misfortune.

But I say when you work you fulfill a part of earth’s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,

And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life,”

We can say there is truth in that quote when we look at some of the tremendous benefits arising from women participation in the labour force, for example:

(1) greater gender equality,

(2) increased household income,

(3) increased financial stability for families.

In fact, the International Labour Organization suggested that women’s work may be the single most important factor in reducing poverty in developing economies. If we examine this at the micro level and think of Jamaica and more specifically within our own homes, most domestic helpers in our homes are women and most of them single parents … or even single grandparents … supporting their children and their grandchildren on their incomes and creating better opportunities through their efforts for their next generation.

The World Economic Forum 2014 Global Gender Gap report made a specific link with female labour force participation and increase in GDP, estimating that raising women’s workforce participation rates to the same level as men’s could raise per capita GDP in the US by as much as 5 per cent and in a country like Egypt as much as 34per cent.

There is also evidence that gender diversity in executive teams is connected to company earnings. According to a 2012 McKinsey Quarterly report EBIT margins at the most diverse companies were on average 14 per cent higher than those of least diverse companies.

However, if I am to keep it real, I must admit that even with all the positive outcomes of women in the workforce there are some negative emerging issues such as:

* increase in divorce rates;

* drug abuse and pregnancy in teens;

* growing rates of suicide in teens;

* increase in health issues such as cancer;

* lifestyle diseases such as hypertension and diabetes; and;

* decline in birth rates (particularly in developed countries).

Therefore, we must examine if the rise of women participation rates in the work place is having a negative impact on personal and family life and how we can better manage or mitigate these negative outcomes.

I now turn my attention to the micro level and examine how we can manage the impact of our career choice of working outside the home. It is often felt that for a woman to have a successful career you must be a superwoman.

Ellen Goodman, who some of you may know for her column in the Boston Globe, a few years back, gave some thoughts on the “day in the life of a superwoman”. In what she called a superwoman phenomenon, that is sometimes taken as a model by ambitious young women: She said,

* “Superwoman rises early to wake her three children, prepares them a good nutritious breakfast (which they eat), and sends them off to school serenely. Then she changes into her Anne Klein suit, drives her husband to his commuter train, and heads for her workday.

* Superwoman sparkles all day on committees, has an elegant business lunch and works hard at the computer. In the evening she has a snack on the table for the children after school, interacts with them meaningfully for an hour (it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality of time that counts). Then she goes for a six-mile run, showers, and prepares a gourmet meal, making sure to have a cold martini ready for her husband as he walks in the door.

* Over dinner, the family discusses issues such as Church and State or the Midlle east oil crisis. After she washes the dishes, Superwoman reads to the children and puts them to bed. Then she settles down for an hour’s meaningful conversation with her husband at the fireside, hearing all about his day and giving him the support he needs in his job; then they go to bed, where she is seductive and playful and gets eight hours refreshing sleep before morning rolls around again.

* And, Ellen Goodman might have added that Superwoman writes to her mother every week, keeps in close touch with all her friends, bakes cookies for the PTA bake sale, presides over the local church committee, and always has all her holiday shopping done before Thanksgiving.

This Superwoman phenomena is made worse by the fact that nowadays we are always connected to work with our smart phones and our tablets. And, with multinational companies with operations in countries in different time zones, we are working longer hours. People are expected to work longer and harder than ever before in an era of globalisation as local companies compete with countries all over the world. There is this constant sense of pressure which comes from knowing that your company is up against companies around the world. I can speak first-hand to that as I work with NCB, which is an indigenous bank, and we are competing with international banks right here in our small economy.

So, if we look at it, one may think that you must be a superwoman to be successful working woman in today’s world. But I must tell you that I am no superwoman; never have and never will be.

I will tell you a bit about my own journey and share with you some of my experiences.

Very early in my career my husband, Peter, gave me a book written by Stephen Covey — The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Later on after we had kids he gave me one of Stephen’s follow up books, Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families. You can tell that things got pretty crazy around our house!

But seriously, I have to admit that family support is very important when as a woman you decide to pursue a career and work full time. I must admit that my family has been extremely supportive, especially my husband.

I found Stephen Covey’s, book the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People extremely helpful but three of the seven habits guided me during my early years of raising a family and pursuing a banking career.

Habit One: Be Proactive

Habit Three: First things first

Habit Seven: Sharpen the Saw

Habit One: Being Proactive — “Being proactive” is about taking responsibility for your life, not blaming anyone for your situation. Not blaming your parents for your genes, lecturers for your grades, your supervisors for your poor performance. Choosing proactive language like “I can”. For me it meant focusing on things that I have control over such as my performance at work, my relationship with my children, my role as mother. I didn’t get distracted with things like my bosses’ mood, or what people think or say about me, or the success of other persons.

For me it meant doing everything with passion, work hard at work, take care of my children with zest. I try not be lukewarm in anything that I do. The Bible speaks about Jesus spitting out lukewarm water, saying that the water is insipid … It is not hot or cold.

Habit Two: First Things First — “First things first” is about prioritising around the things that are important… not jumping and trying to do everything. For me it meant avoid spending time on superficial relationships and focusing my time on deep meaningful relationships with my family and very close friends. It meant being able to make the right decisions about first things first, even if it meant suspending my career or choosing a different path.

In 2006 our son got very sick. He was only three years old and he was admitted in intensive care at the Bustamante Hospital one weekend. From the day that I took him to the doctor and she sent me to the hospital I never left him. He was in the hospital for 21 days. I decided there and then that I would stay with him until he was healed and restored to good health. For me, first things first means knowing when to let go of my career. Thank God he was restored to full health and returned home. After that I went back to work.

Habit Three: Sharpening the Saw — Sharpening the Saw means preserving and enhancing my greatest asset… me. It means having a balanced programme for self- renewal in the four areas of my life: physical, social/emotional, mental and spiritual. When my saw is sharpened, I can increase my ability to produce and handle challenges. For me, each day provides an opportunity for renewal.

I extend the concept of “sharpening the saw” to dealing with my family. I don’t believe in the concept of “quality time”. I believe that for your family and personal life to thrive you must spend time with each other.

Early in my career, when my daughter was about two years old, my husband and I used to put in very long hours at work. God Bless my mother and my mother in law) they were a tower of support and strength at that time. But at the time my mother lived in Montego Bay and my mother-in-law kept our daughter every day after pre-school so I could not leave our daughter with her on weekends. So when I had to work on a Saturday, I would take PK to the office with me. One Saturday, I saw PK curled up on the sofa in my office fast asleep. I looked at her and thought to myself this is not right. I decided then and there that I would have to redouble my efforts Monday to Friday to be effective but I would not go into the office on weekends. I decided that my weekends would be for renewal and full time with my family. That was 18 years ago. I can’t say I have never worked on a weekend since but certainly not as a matter of course. Another example of sharpening the saw in our family is being very consistent with our annual family vacations … even when we didn’t make it an overseas vacation but we would spend part of the summer as a family doing “family stuff”.

I must admit that even though I found Stephen Covey’s book extremely helpful in my early years as a working mother, now when I am much older I find all I need to know is in the Bible. There is not a single principle about life that you cannot find there.

So even though I am still learning how to manage and mitigate any negative impact that my career choice can have on my personal and family life, I am happy that I chose this path. I love what I do and every day when I go to work I help people to put their best lives forward! For me that is very fulfilling.

Audrey Tugwell Henry is Senior General Manager – Retail Banking, National Commercial Bank.