Dear Career Advisor:

I hope you can help me and give me some advice after I am finished telling you everything that I failed in life.

I went to high school for five years and left with nothing. I did seven CSEC exams and I wasn’t successful in any. All of this happened because I wasted my time at school and now it’s haunting me.

My parents never gave up on me and gave me a second chance to do over some subjects. I did five but still wasn’t successful in any. I cried and cried. My parents were devastated and disappointed with me. My father cursed me and my mom, but who could blame him? I had again wasted my time at school.

Afterwards my mother sent me back to the same institution to do two subjects — mathematics and English. I was successful in mathematics gaining a grade three, but I failed English.

That year I got accepted at the Ebony Park HEART Academy where I did general agriculture Level Two. I still went there and wasted my time… I failed the final assessment. Everyone was rewarded with their statement of competence in their hand, except me. I was humiliated and I cried.

Every time I look back at how hard my mother has to work… every time I look at my dad and see that he is getting older and I can’t help him or repay him in life, or help my siblings, I cry.

I haven’t told my parents anything because it will hurt them. I love them so much. I hope one day I can make it in life to help them and my little sister and brother.

After the first two weeks of being back at home, I got a call to attend an interview for Level Three. My mom was happy that I got through to do Level Three … Three weeks after the interview I didn’t get a call, so I got in touch with one of my friends who told me that she got the call and she started the programme three weeks earlier. I have not told my mother yet as it will kill her. Please tell me, should I tell her or should I work it out on my own?

I see myself as failure and time waster… friends and family talk to me about doing my work… I didn’t listen, now look at me… sitting at home… I don’t know what to do.

Please, I need your advice.

Sincerely,

Mary*

Dear Mary*

Due to space constraints your letter was condensed and your name changed to protect your identity.

Let me begin by encouraging you to stop worrying and dwelling on your failures. You have already taken the first step: admitting that your neglect to properly utilise your opportunities has led to where you are now. You may choose to continue to lament your failure, worry over past mistakes, or blame yourself and others, but it is more important to commit to change.

In making that change, it is important to identify the root cause of what you describe as time wasting. Are you distracted? Are you unmotivated? Is it a case of poor time management? Are you pursuing areas in which you have no interest? Or do you perhaps need to change your study habits?

I suggest you meet with a career coach at one of the Career One-Stop centres at the nearest HEART Trust/NTA parish office, or at your former academy to get help identifying the root problems and take the necessary steps to correct it or them. The coach will also help you develop a career advancement plan.

In the process, it is important that you make a concerted effort to:

i. Learn from your mistakes, and

ii. Motivate yourself; be willing to pick up the pieces and move forward.

Success in life will not come by wishful thinking and unspecific lofty desires, but by planning and working hard to achieve goals.

HEART routinely provides feedback on interviews and performance. It could therefore be that you have missed the calls. Do make direct contact with the admissions and assessment officer at the academy you attended to find out the status of your application for Level Three. Since Level Three usually leads to accelerated assessment for new applicants, you might need to find out if, having done Level Two, you are eligible. Bear in mind as well that you may resit the Level Two assessment as many times as you need to, though you will need to pay for each repeat assessment.

Now to your question about telling your mother about the Level Two failure. Yes, you should tell her, but before you do, follow the steps outlined above. Understandably, she will be disappointed, but your new-found commitment and clearly thought-out strategies should provide her with some level of assurance of the need for continued support, which no doubt will come with conditions.

All the best as you strategise to overcome this hurdle.

Sincerely,

Career Advisor

Carolyn Marie Smith is assistant vice-president of student affairs at Northern Caribbean University in Mandeville, Manchester. Submit your questions to her at careeradvisor@ncu.edu.jm.