Is not me..is dem, a classic Jamaican way of dodging responsibility that is repeated a thousand times in a thousand languages across a thousand cultures.

“Is not me” is one of the easiest things to hang your hat on when accountability is flung out the door.

“Is not me… is dem” are the words and excuses most used every day, be it in the office when workers fail to meet deadlines, or on the road when stopped by a policeman and the passenger is blamed for careless driving.

Or from the boss when you get a poor appraisal and he attempts to shift responsibility for authorship to his boss.

Is not me… is dem turns up sometimes in the most unlikely places, used by the most unlikely people.

A cricketer not chosen for the squad is told by one of the selectors that “B’woy, ah try hard to get you on the team, but is not me… is dem (the other selectors).” You are due for a raise and you don’t get it. The supervisor is not going to claim responsibility for not giving it to you, the blame is passed on to someone else.

At lunch, in a fancy restaurant in Kingston the other day, I was served what I can only describe as a cardboard version of oxtail and beans. When I challenged the owner, a well-known caterer I may add, he blustered not only his regret, but passed on the blame to his supplier and came up with some jumbled story about the “tough meat they are selling us these days, Mr Customer, and you have to try and understand, is not our fault.”

I tried to ask him how on earth he could mistake oxtail for cardboard, and that he should be in the stationery business, but he couldn’t get the joke. Now I ask you, whose responsibility is it to vet the items before purchase? Maybe the veterinarian, posted at the kitchen door.

They say it all starts in the nursery, this ‘is not me’ thing. How many of us in our childhood ever tried to transfer the blame for the missing biscuits, the broken window or the dirty bathtub to brothers and sisters while we were in our infancy? Remember “Is not me teacher, is Bruk-Up or Sheggup”?

When I was a youngster I was taught that if I pointed one finger at someone else, three fingers pointed back at me, and one finger to God.

The lesson was also taught at boarding school because we were warned not to squeal on others you could be liable for a beat-up from your classmates — A form of jungle justice, which I am glad to say, was never really carried out.

Michael Josephson is an influential and internationally renowned champion of character education for youth and ethical conduct in business, government, policing, journalism, sports, health care and law. He is credited by many as the person most responsible for reviving and professionalising character education in school and youth-serving organisations.

Josephson says that the line between childhood and adulthood is crossed when we move from saying ‘It got lost’ to ‘I lost it’.

He goes on to opine that being accountable — and understanding and accepting the role our choices play in the things that happen — are crucial signs of emotional and moral maturity. That’s why responsibility is one of the main pillars of good character.

“Many people have been seduced by the Peter Pan philosophy of refusing to grow up and avoiding the burdens implied in being accountable. Yes, responsibility sometimes requires us to do things that are unpleasant or even frightening. It asks us to carry our own weight, prepare and set goals, and exercise the discipline to reach our aspirations.

“But the benefits of accepting responsibility far outweigh the short-lived advantages of refusing to do so. No one makes his or her life better by avoiding responsibility. In fact, irresponsibility is a form of self-imposed servitude — to circumstances and to other people.

“Responsibility is about our ability to respond to circumstances and to choose the attitudes, actions, and reactions that shape our lives. It is a concept of power that puts us in the driver’s seat. The grand panorama of the potential of our lives can only be appreciated when we begin to be accountable and self-reliant.

“Responsible people not only depend on themselves, but show others that they can be depended on. This breeds trust, and trust is a key that opens many doors.

“If you want more control over your life and the pleasures, prerogatives, and power of freedom and independence, all you have to do is be responsible.”

The most classic example of “is not me… is dem” is recorded in the Bible.

When Adam disobeyed God and ate the proverbial apple in the Garden of Eden, he did not accept the responsibility for his action, but tried to shift the entire blame unto Eve. God asked him a direct question, “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

Adam’s answer? “The woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

In, other words, “is not me, (Adam) is dem” (Eve and the Serpent). Even if the half-eaten apple was still in his hand, the classic response was, it is not my fault, but somebody else’s.

Incidents of trying to dodge the buck occur over and over throughout the pages of the Bible. Moses himself tried to dodge God’s commission to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt and made every attempt to pass on the job to somebody else.

Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” In other words, I can’t do it.

But the Lord said to him, “Now, listen to me — who gave human being their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind. Is it not I, the Lord? Now, you go and do what I am ordering you to do. I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

But incredibly, Moses still persisted. “Do Lord, send somebody else, please. I am not a talker like dem others. Don’t send me, send dem.”

Well, we know what happened. Moses eventually accepted responsibility and took on a job for which the Lord knew he was eminently qualified, but was either afraid, lazy, or insecure.

Insecurity is one reason behind the “is not me” complex. The person who consistently fails to take responsibility for his or her actions is most likely an insecure individual afraid to take the blame.

A memorandum written by legendary Director of Tourism John Pringle, in 1965, to his staff at the Jamaica Tourist Board still remains on my desk. It speaks for itself.

“As I was passing someone’s desk this morning, I heard the remark, ‘that’s not my job’. I would just like everyone in this organisation to know that if everyone were to do just their own job, then we would not be the most efficient, productive, dedicated, and overworked tourism organisation in the Caribbean.

“Doing one’s own job is quite simple. Anyone can do it. Doing more than just one’s own job is damned difficult. And that is what I expect from everyone in this organisation.”

Let’s drop the “is not me, is someone else’s job” syndrome. Let’s try to understand that if everyone was to do just their own job and not try to reach out beyond the confines of their self-constructed boundaries, we would remain insular, selfish, and unable to fulfil our potential.

There is the story of a doctor who entered the hospital in a hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery on a boy. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.

On seeing him, the father yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled and said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came as fast as I could after receiving the call and now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”.

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies while waiting for the doctor, what will you do??” said the father angrily. The doctor smiled again and replied, “We will do our best by God’s grace and you should also pray for your son’s healthy life”.

“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy,” murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy. “Thank goodness! your son is saved!” Without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way, running, and said: “If you have any questions, ask the nurse.”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I could ask about my son’s state?” the father asked on seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left. The nurse answered, tears coming down her face. “His son died last week in a road accident. He was at the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.” The moral of that story is never judge anyone, because you never know how their life is and what they’re going through.

As April comes to an end, let’s end it with the April Fools’ joke of all jokes on this Sunday morning. An atheist created a case in court against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognised days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!”

The lawyer immediately stood, objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honour, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant. The calendar says April 1st is April Fools’ Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God’. Thus, it is the opinion of this court that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.”

Lance Neita is a public relations consultant and writer. Comments to the Observer or to lanceneita@hotmail.com