It’s been almost 12 years since Chris Brown’s infamous brutal attack on his then-girlfriend, Rihanna.

But in an interview with Oprah Winfrey on her ‘SuperSoul Conservations’ podcast, Rihanna revealed that even after all of that, she still loves Chris Brown.

“We’re working on our friendship again, and now we’re very very close friends, and that’s it. We love each other, and we probably always will,” she said. “That’s not something we’re gonna try to change, that’s not something you can shut off if you’ve ever been in love.”

However, when asked by Oprah if they were seeing each other, Rihanna said no.

“He’s in a relationship of his own, I’m single, but we maintain a very close friendship, ever since the restraining order has been dropped. We’ve just worked on it, little by little, and it has not been easy. It’s not easy.”

True love

She admitted that she saw him recently at a party for a mutual friend, but says it’s awkward when she sees him because she still loves him.

“I still love him, my stomach drops [when she sees him], and I have to maintain this poker face, and not let it get to the outer part. I have to suppress it, but interpret it, and understand it, and understand that that’s not gonna go away,”

Rihanna said she has come to accept that Chris Brown was her true love.

“He was the love of my life, he was the first love, and I see that he loved me the same way. We were very young, very spontaneous, we ran wild, we were falling in love and going a really rapid pace that we forgot about ourselves as individuals,”

And even now, his happiness matters to her.

“The main thing for me is that he is at peace, I’m not at peace if he’s a little unhappy, or he’s still lonely.”

According

to police documents, the attack involved him shoving Rihanna’s head against a

car window, punching her repeatedly in the face, biting her left ear and

fingers, and placing her in a headlock until she began to lose consciousness.

This

resulted in Rihanna filing a restraining order against him, and Chris Brown

tattooing what looked like the face of a battered woman on his neck.