IT has been a week since Miss USA 2019 Cheslie Kryst jumped to her death from a high-rise New York apartment, but two local pageant winners are still coming to terms with her death.

Iana Tickle Garcia, who represented Jamaica at Miss Universe the same year as Kryst, remembered her down-to-earth nature.

“It was overwhelming going there as a 19-year-old when everyone else was much older and experienced. But Cheslie managed to speak with everyone, even those who didn’t speak English, and she wasn’t afraid to show that she was also overwhelmed and nervous too. She was extremely genuine and didn’t put on the façade that she was completely cool and unaffected by the pressures of pageantry. She was always making someone laugh and giving hugs and tips whenever someone asked.”

Garcia explained that it was for that reason that she found the news of her death by suicide hard to come to terms with.

“I was shocked. I had to check to make sure it wasn’t fake because I couldn’t believe it. I had goosebumps and chills and it was just profound sadness and confusion because I’d have never expected this,” she told the Jamaica Observer.

Another local pageant winner, Miss Jamaica World 2010 Chantal Raymond took to social media, penning an essay titled ‘How being a beauty queen can take a severe toll on your mental health’.

In the piece posted to her LinkedIn page Raymond, who like Kryst is also an attorney, shared her own experiences after being crowned Miss Jamaica World and the effect it had on her.

“As a young adult you mentally prepare for a lot of things, but it is hard to prepare for the criticism and outright trolls who then attack you for no reason whatsoever. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone is a keyboard warrior. Everyone seems to be able to do everything you have and ever will do, but even better, from the comfort of their living room. Sure, you will get a lot of praise and support but sometimes it feels that the people who speak negatively speak the loudest. I won’t pretend to know exactly what Cheslie was going through but reading her Allure article about her struggles with ageism and criticism made me reflect on my own experiences.”

Raymond shared that like Kryst, she received criticism that she did not fit the traditional mould of a beauty queen.

“I too received many comments about not being pretty enough to be a Miss Jamaica, about my skin being too dark, or that I was ‘all brain and no beauty’. After a time, these comments start to wear you down and strip away that ‘world is my oyster’ confidence that helped you win in the first place. So many people think that depression only looks like crying yourself to sleep every night. Some people going through mental health issues can actually smile, function, and even put on a show when they need to. What depression can look like is a debilitating sadness that is easily hidden.

“Most people from my country don’t know that I actually missed my flight to go to the Miss World competition. While my family easily laughed it off as me just being late, what they didn’t realise is that I just froze, in front of the mirror, for three hours — three hours just staring in the mirror. I knew I had to catch my flight. I knew my whole country was waiting for me to go to China to compete, but for some reason I couldn’t move. It’s really hard to reach out for help. Sometimes you don’t even know that you need help, and most times you don’t think people will understand,” Raymond added.

Garcia shared that if she could speak to Kryst she would share how much of an inspiration she has been.

“She wasn’t a role model because she was perfect but rather because she basked in her imperfections and still managed to be the epitome of kindness, beauty, perseverance and success. It is still so hard to accept the fact that she’s gone because she was such a strong mental health advocate and outwardly, everything seemed to be going so well. She was a pure spirit through and through and she really showed me what it meant to go after your dreams and how you can attain your goals, even through trials and tribulations,” she noted.