What think you if he were conveyed to bed

Wrapped in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers,

A most delicious banquet by his bed

And brave attendants near him when he wakes

Would not the beggar then forget himself?

— Shakespeare, The Taming of The Shrew

Can you just imagine waking up to find yourself surrounded by such opulence? That poor beggar, bestowed with all that finery, sweet clothes, rings on his fingers, a banquet fit for a king, and attendants at his beck and call when he wakes up. Surely he must be dreaming, for he certainly does not belong there and is not good enough to be there.

He dare not try to cross that social divide and step into a realm where he does not belong. As the old saying goes, if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. But even if he wished for and got a horse, he’d still not be accepted by certain echelons of society, for he’s still be known as the beggar who happened to get a horse, and still be not good enough.

And thus begins my tale, that of people who try to go where some folks think that they should dare not venture, where their reach exceeded their grasp, where they are simply not worthy, not good enough to rub shoulders with that sector of society.

And even if they do manage to get there, nothing that they do will ever be good enough for them to be accepted. This is a regular occurrence, for many people try to step up and pursue women who are out of their league, or live in areas where they ‘don’t belong’, for they just aren’t good enough.

“Imagine, him don’t even own a car but him want to talk to Miss World. Him not good enough.”

We’ll see what that’s all about, right after these more than good enough responses to what I had to say about ‘Happy endings’.

Hi Tony,

You are correct in saying that a happy ending cannot come while the story is still being told. The ending comes when you are dead, and can that be called happy? I loved watching movies and still do. The movie stars in those westerns always save the damsel in distress after shooting the villain. There would be a happy ending as they ride off lovingly into the sunset. This just means that it’s the start of a new life for the couple, but a happy ending for the movie.

Wayne

Hello Mr Rob,

There is no happy ending except only in fairy tales that make us feel good after reading them. Nothing is wrong with that, for books and movies are supposed to make us feel good. Life can be hard, miserable and challenging, so why read a book or see a movie or play that reflects that tragic and cruel reality? I say, have a happy ending in books and movies, for there is none in real life.

Sandra

Have you ever met someone and thought that the person was not good enough to be in your company? Or have you been anywhere and thought that you weren’t good enough to be there?

Social barriers do exist, and we may admit to it, or we may not, but those invisible walls are there. But you know how we like to jump fence and scale wall whenever we see an opportunity, even as it rankles some people who are within those borders and want to maintain their illusion of superiority.

This happens a lot with parents and their children, especially their daughters, when they come of age. More than likely a young man will come a calling, but he had better be good enough for her.

If the daughter belongs to the middle or upper class, no bwoy from the other side of the tracks, below a certain socio-economic class, dare put his foot through that door.

“Fiona, who is that scruffy looking boy I saw you talking to?”

“Oh, he goes to my school, daddy, and he asked me out?”

Asked her out, asked her out? Now whooaa Nellie, run that by me again; he asked her out? Not on my watch. That’s where the inquisition begins, for the parents will want to know where he’s from, where he lives, who are his parents, how he got into the same school as their daughter, and also his DNA. As the age-old question goes, “Is he of good stock?”

The fact that he’s a grade A student and already has 10 CXC passes from he was in fourth form matters little, he’s still not good enough.

“No daughter of mine is going out with any bongo head, no name lower class bwoy.”

“Can’t you find a nicer boy or even one from foreign, my dear?”

If the boy happens to make it through the door, he’ll be grilled more than a prisoner of war.

“Will you be able to care for my daughter in the manner that she’s accustomed, young man?”

It happens in reverse too, for many mothers do not want their sons cohabiting with ‘certain types of girls’ who, in their eyes, are certainly not the marrying kind.

“Oh, he can have his fun with her, if you know what I mean, but he certainly isn’t going to marry her.”

At times they may overcome the hurdles, ignore the backlash and pursue the relationship. But what happens then? Will the guy continue to be haunted by the innuendo that he’s not good enough, and will the young woman have a superior attitude handed down by her parents?

Old habits and feelings are hard to be erased, despite love entering the equation. The guy may always feel as if he has to go the extra mile to prove that he’s good enough to be in her world. And she, in turn, may still think that she was the catch and he was so lucky to be with her. After all, he stepped up, and she had to step down. At least that’s the perception — real or imagined. And you know what they say, perception is often viewed as reality.

Plus, knowing how women are never satisfied — not my saying, but expressed throughout centuries — nothing that he does will be good enough for her.

“I should have listened to my parents, you’re still unpolished.”

“The house is fine, but can’t we move to somewhere nicer?”

He lives under a cloud that rains droplets of doubt down on him, as he’s still not good enough, and will always be reminded of that. And even if the man happens to achieve success and further his status in life, his background still haunts him and is never forgotten, as the woman throws it in his face.

“Sure, you reach somewhere now, but I still remember where you came from.”

Sometimes the fears are realised, and the warnings should have been heeded, for as the old sayings go, ‘Water always seeks its own level’; ‘A leopard never changes its spots’; ‘You can take the man out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the man.’

Some women rue the day that they ignored the warning of their parents.

“I should have listened to my dad, the man is worthless and will always be worthless.”

As for the man who took a chance with the young girl who ‘wasn’t good enough’:

“I thought that she would have changed, but as my back turn so, is pure a dem bwoy she gone back to.”

But in the main though, people who are purported to be not good enough often prove their detractors wrong, achieve economic and social standing and make it into mainstream society. Sadly, there are always some who will never gain acceptance and still not be good enough.

Even if you win the lotto and move into ‘a certain neighbourhood’, you’re still not good enough, for new money is no equaliser.

“Do you see the type of people who are visiting his house and the riff raff that comes and goes?”

That’s by no means new, for even from centuries ago, especially in Europe, old money was respected, but new money looked down on.

“So you got some money, big deal, you’re still not good enough.”

Even the way one speaks determines if they’re good enough. For some bizarre reason, there are people who equate speaking standard English with status and intelligence, while our Jamaican language is viewed with disdain.

“You brought that boy home and he can’t even speak properly?”

People must realise that English is a language, and not an indication of intelligence.

Anyway, like it or not, we all fall prey to this absurd not-good-enough syndrome. It’s just a matter of degrees and tolerance for the differences in other people. But you can test yourself; what type of young man is suitable for your daughter, or young woman for your son? Think about it.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Kingston College (KC) is one of the youngest boys’ high schools in Jamaica, yet has managed to outdo every other school in so many areas, achieving what many can only dream of. This has led to a love hate relationship that many people have with KC, victims of their success. Well, the success continues. Over the past five months KC has won the football Manning Cup and Olivier Shield; Boys’ Champs; Penn Relays 4×400 metres; Urban and All Island Under-16 and Under-19 Table Tennis Championships; lacrosse champions; second in Colts Football; third in swimming; semi-final in Urban Cricket and won the Urban Area Under-15 Basketball title. Now, how’s that for a Purple patch? The academics are pretty impressive also. No wonder they are known as The Famed Purples.