HAVE you ever experienced the kind of heartbreak that doesn’t just have you crying to your girlfriends, but as Jamaicans say, your meds mash up so bad, that you change your entire life? We’re taking about the type of break-up that has you switching jobs, cutting your hair, moving to another parish, or finding religion.

“You can’t really quantify the emotional toll that heartbreak will have on a person, but when you’ve invested a lot, it’s harder, and sometimes only extreme change will have you in control of your life again,“ mental health counsellor Angela Dacres explained.

For these people, their break-ups did them so bad, that they can hardly talk about it.

Yvette, 45: I thought we were dating and would eventually marry. All my friends and family met and loved him. We even went up to the altar together, and people in our church assumed we were together. There was absolutely no warning that anything was awry. One morning a work colleague brought the newspaper over. His nuptials were in the bridal section. My entire body went cold. Just three Sundays before, we had been to church as usual. Unbeknownst to me, he had found a girl in another branch of the church, dated behind my back, and married her. I was so embarrassed and hurt. When I spoke to him, he said he thought I knew we were just friends. I honestly couldn’t take it, and saw an ad to teach in Japan, applied, and got through. I had to put the distance between us, in order to heal my heart.

Donnalee, 44: My kids’ father isn’t Jamaican. We dated in college and had two kids a year apart. He said he would have more opportunities to earn good money in his country, so he left, and was to work for six months, then return. He sent money and communicated for about two months. Then he got a woman pregnant, and married her. He said they were more compatible than us. I don’t remember much about those dark times, except that I struggled so much by myself, that I mentally blocked out huge chunks of my children’s lives. I don’t remember their milestones when they were little. I would have welcomed death if it came. The only thing left was for me to go to Ward 21, because I’m certain that I went mad. Now they’re teenagers, they reconnected with their dad some years ago, and we’re all doing better, but I have never trusted a man since then.

Tiffany, 39: I used my last coins to help my fiancé to go on a work programme — took out a loan too. After the programme ended he decided to stay and eventually help me — lol. He was paying back the loan initially, but then he stopped. Then he just disappeared. To this day, the only proof I have that he’s still alive is because I haven’t seen a death announcement. I had to turn to God in those times. Only through my faith did I make it.

Sabrena, 31: I was hurt in the past and was just getting my confidence back, so when he approached me at work, I said no, several times. I told him about my past, and why I was cautious, because I couldn’t bear to be hurt again. Also, I didn’t believe in workplace romances. I told him I had recently lost my mom, and was trying to rebuild my life. He reassured me, pampered me, spoiled me, and broke down the walls I had built. Then as soon as we were intimate, he acted like he didn’t know me, and we worked in the same department! I think for him it was a game. I had to work with him for another year, before he was reassigned. Honestly, only the grace of God saved me. It’s been four years, and I’m still traumatised.