LONDON, United Kingdom (AFP)-Ex-Spice Girl turned designer Victoria Beckham describes herself as someone who “desperately wanted to be liked” in a new three-part documentary about her life.

In the Netflix series due to launch on Thursday, the 51-year-old once known as “Posh Spice” recounts her battle to reinvent herself as a fashion designer after the British girl band split.

“People thought I was that miserable cow that never smiled,” she said, referring to her straight-faced public persona.

Performing had been her “dream”, she said, but when the band came to an end she found fashion to be a “creative outlet”.

Beckham, who frequently becomes emotional in the series by director Nadia Hallgren, said she came up against a world that said “she’s a popstar, she’s married to a footballer, who does she think she is?”

Reflecting on her early life, she added that she did not fit in but always yearned to be valued.

“That uncool kid at school who was awkward, that was me. But I desperately wanted to be liked, have a sense of worth,” she said.

Beckham, a mother-of-four who is married to English former star footballer David Beckham, also talks about her eponymous brand’s well publicised financial difficulties.

The clothing label has not made an operating profit since it was established in 2008.

“We were millions in the red” at one point, she admitted.

The Spice Girls stormed to worldwide fame in 1996 after the release of their first single “Wannabe”, spreading their message of girl power, eventually going on to sell 85 million albums worldwide.

Only two of their 11 singles failed to reach number one on the British charts, while their first three singles all hit the US top five.

The five-piece split in 2000 but reunited for a world tour in 2007. Another reunion tour went ahead in 2019 without Beckham.