EVERY August thousands of adults proudly accompany their college-age family members to university. For those living in halls of residence or off-campus housing, this experience usually includes helping to unpack suitcases, asking about lecture schedules, taking countless photographs, and offering one final piece of advice before saying goodbye.

For those who are commuting to campus, families are seeing the transition and development continuously unfolding. While much attention is given to preparing students for this new chapter, there is a quieter question that deserves equal attention, who prepares the parents and families?

The transition to university is often described as a student’s journey, but in reality, it is a family transition. Parents are not simply sending a child or family member to university; they are learning how to support an emerging adult in an environment that is very different from the one they may have experienced. Today’s university landscape is shaped by artificial intelligence, hybrid learning, increasing mental health awareness, financial pressures and rapidly changing career pathways. Supporting a student now requires more than encouragement – it requires understanding.

Globally, universities are beginning to recognise that family engagement is not an afterthought, but an important part of student success. Many higher education institutions, including a few in Jamaica, now offer dedicated parent and family orientation programmes, resource guides, webinars and communications designed specifically for families. Rather than encouraging parents to become over-involved, these initiatives help them understand academic expectations, student well-being, and the delicate balance between offering support and allowing independence.

Research continues to reinforce what many student success professionals have long observed: families remain one of the strongest influences on whether students persist through challenges, particularly those who are the first in their families to attend university. What makes the greatest difference is not parents and families having all the answers, but creating an environment where encouragement, resilience and confidence become part of the student’s everyday experience.

Here in Jamaica, the conversation is particularly important, especially based on our economic climate. Many families are navigating university life for the first time while managing rising costs, accommodation and commuting expenses, work commitments, and the uncertainty that often accompanies higher education. Parents frequently ask whether they should intervene when academic challenges arise, how much independence is appropriate, and how to recognise when their child needs professional support. These are valid questions, yet they are rarely addressed directly.

Preparing parents does not mean teaching them to monitor every assignment or solve every problem. It means helping them understand that growth often comes through challenges. It means encouraging conversations instead of constant supervision, knowing the support services available on campus, and recognising when to step forward and when to step back.

So as the preparations for that August or September morning approaches, I would like to share some tips with our parents and families:

*Remember your role has now shifted. You are no longer a problem solver, YOU ARE NOW THE COACH. Instead of immediately fixing issues, ask guiding questions, such as, “Who on campus can help you with this? Or what do you think you should do next?”

*Be their voice of reasoning. Remind them that the first semester will be challenging, as it is part of the adjustment, yes, normalise the struggle. It is part of building resilient, functional adults. And in the same breath, encourage them to use campus support services and resources, after all, you paid for it. Some of the things you can suggest are: getting academic advising at their faculty office, utilising their lecturer’s office hours, utilising the health services — counselling, doctor visits, dental, student services, career counselling and mentorship, to name a few.

*Stay connected but not controlling. Do your regular check-ins, but avoid constant monitoring. Allow them the space to be independent.

*Focus on conversation, not just grades. Ask about the friendships and connections they have made, the experiences they are having, what challenges they are having, and comment on their growth, even if it’s just about them independently preparing a full day’s meal.

*Adulting comes with tough conversations. But be mindful of making the financial conversations too pressuring. My suggestion to you is, be open and realistic about money – they need to learn the value of it and also learn to create a budget. Most institutions have a financial aid office that can help students with budgeting, or their student affairs department normally hosts interactive sessions early in the semester about financial management as a university student. Do not use finances as a source of guilt or pressure.

*Your family member’s journey will be different from your own. Whether you attended college or never had the opportunity to pursue higher education, your experiences include both triumphs and anxieties that are uniquely yours. While sharing your story can help build connection and understanding, it is important not to measure your family member against your own experiences or expect their path to mirror yours.

Every student enters college at a different time, under different circumstances, and with different challenges. By allowing them the freedom to navigate their own journey, you give them the opportunity to develop resilience, maturity, confidence, and independence. The challenges they encounter are not simply obstacles to be removed; they are often the very experiences that shape their growth. Trust that these lessons are a valuable part of your family member’s journey and that your support is most meaningful when it encourages, rather than directs, their path.

Finally, I find that family members (not only parents) are very instinctive in the Caribbean, you often hear parents say ‘I have a very strange feeling’. In this case, trust those feelings and stay very alert for warning signs. Some of them manifest in prolonged withdrawal, constantly avoiding calls, or conversations about not making friends and just staying in their room or always being alone. These are signs that they need additional support. This support can also be accessed on the university campus.

As student success professionals, we often speak about creating a successful first year experience. Perhaps it is time to broaden that vision. Student success does not begin on the first day of lectures; it begins within the network of relationships that surrounds each student. Families, universities and communities all have a role to play.

The question, then, is not whether parents should be part of the first year experience. They already are. The real question is whether we are intentionally preparing them for that role. If we truly believe that student success is a shared responsibility, then perhaps the next evolution of orientation is not simply welcoming students to university or only having a parent orientation, but welcoming parents into a new partnership that empowers them to support, encourage and ultimately let go with confidence.

Keresha Larmond is a higher education student success professional specialising in student transition programmes and college preparation.