Many of us may think that there is nothing wrong with telling a little white lie here and there, but very few of us give a second thought to the repercussions of these actions.
Bridget Thompson-Dunkley, romance author, shares five ways in which lying can be detrimental to our romantic relationships.
1. Lying destroys trust
Every relationship is built on mutual trust, whether that relationship it is romantic or not. Lying quickly erodes that trust, hurting both parties in the process. Whether it is keeping secrets or telling a little white lie, lying destroys one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy relationship — trust. Whether you got caught or suddenly decided to come clean and you were forgiven, the fact of the matter is that for a relationship to work, both parties must be able to trust each other. Though some might argue that trust can always be regained, it is not as simple as it sounds as the hurt partner will have so many mental blocks up that it might be difficult to regain trust.
2. No one tells just one lie…
Lies not only grow but they tend to become addictive especially if you have gotten away with a few already. There is a tendency to want to lie every time you find yourself in a jam because for you telling a lie is easier than telling the truth. And the problem arises when you tell too many lies as these lies may become difficult to contain. Simply put, one lie equals more lies and not only that, lies grow over time as it becomes harder and harder for you to keep your story straight.
3. Lying hurts the ones you care about the most
When you tell a lie, your intention is never to hurt anyone but to instead get yourself out of a sticky situation. But lies do hurt. By telling a loved one a lie, they will feel betrayed by you and it is this feeling of betrayal that can lead to a breakdown in communication, making them feel even more vulnerable than they already are! Love doesn't hurt but lies do; and the moment you start telling lies, it is no longer love.
4. Lies can permeate the other aspects of your life without you even knowing it
Many of you might believe that if you tell a lie in your personal life that that is where it stops. Not so! Lies can transcend other aspects of your life without you even knowing it. The fact of the matter is that lying and getting away with it makes you feel invincible and so you are more likely to want to lie even more. Whether the lie you told your spouse has to do with you trying to cover up your money problems or infidelity, don't be surprised if you start lying on the job too!
5. Lying has serious consequences
Many partners believe that when they tell a lie, especially a little white one, that nothing will become of it. But that is not the case. Lying is only a temporary cover up as it has both seen and unforeseen consequences, some of which can be life changing. And though you may think that there are several levels of lying, the painful truth is that the ones you hurt suffer emotionally.