What women want: A guide to foreplay

Hair & Scalp

Slide your hands through my hair and stroke your nails across my scalp, varying the pressure. Or, wrap a strand around your finger and gently tug — you’ll stimulate pressure points in my scalp, sending tingles of pleasure to other erotic zones. When you hear sighs of approval, repeat.

Mind

Fantasy alone can produce orgasm in some women. To arouse erotic thoughts and direct them toward my pleasure zones, ask me where I like to be touched (then touch me there); tell me how attractive you find me and whisper how much you love to caress me, while brushing your hands lightly across my body.

Eyes

The eyes are powerful channels for sexual energy, since they can reveal what we’re feeling, so keep them open. That doesn’t mean you should stare at me and make me feel self-conscious. Blink naturally, and when you do occasionally close your eyes, make some noise so I know that you’re simply overcome by pleasure and not avoiding intimacy.

Cheeks

Spend a few minutes dwelling on this often ignored area. My face is one of the most sensitive areas of my body, so use a light touch. Take out my favourite-smelling skin lotion and vary your touch by using the knuckle of one finger, your fingertips and the back of your hand. Caress my cheeks as slowly as you can, then slow that pace down by half.

Mouth

My lips are one of the most sensitive parts of my body-especially my top lip and the area just above it. Use a slow, delicate approach: Nibble on my top lip first, then the bottom. Tease me with your tongue by twirling it around the surface of my lips.

Speaking of tongues, mine is loaded with nerve endings, so consider serving me champagne via your mouth. I won’t complain. Then use the tip of your tongue to dance with the tip of mine.

Ears

Bundles of nerve endings live in and around my ears, making them ultrasensitive to your touch. Use the pads of your index finger and thumb to massage my outer ears with slow, firm movements. Gently squeeze my earlobes.

Explore the area behind my ear with your lips and tongue, then blow lightly. Don’t be shy about making noise while you’re lingering here — the sound of your breath and moans is a huge turn-on.

Neck

I tend to carry stress in my neck, so if you massage me here, I’ll relax and release. The back of my neck has soft, downlike hair that stands on end when stroked. Using the lightest touch possible, brush this hair with your fingertips — it drives me wild.

Breasts

Warning: Don’t go straight for my nipples. Pay attention to the area between and to the sides of my breast. Use your palms in a swirling motion up and around my breasts.

Practice: Place a grape between your teeth, and rotate with your tongue. When you can do this without breaking the skin, you’ve mastered the correct amount of pressure. The pay-off: intense nipple action.

Consider running an ice cube over my nipples, then lick, kiss and blow.

Arms & Wrists

The skin is very tender along the inside of my arms and wrists, so tread lightly. Moisten my inner arms with a kiss, or lick a trail from my wrist toward my heart. Then blow lightly.

Anywhere I’m ticklish, I’m sensitive, which makes my armpits another capital of arousal. Use your whole hand for a firm touch to prevent tickle torture, which is hardly a turn-on. Advanced trick: Titillate my inner arms with surprising sensations like a rolling pin or pinecone.

Back

My spine is where you’ll find a real concentration of nerve endings. Run your nails softly along the length of my spine, teasing me slowly with long, light strokes. Then take a peacock feather and glide it up and down my back.

The area right above my rear end is one of the most sensuous. Go figure. Massage me here, and the tension in my back will dissipate, allowing more blood to flow freely toward my sex organs.

Cover yourself in massage oil, then slowly slide up my body until you’re lying on top of me. Caress my back with your stomach. Then sit up and inch forward until your backside is on top of mine. Slide your booty over mine and into the curve of my back. Swirl around in a skin-to-skin body massage.

Rear

As long as you compliment my rear as you play with it, consider it safe terrain for foreplay. When you place pressure on my behind, you’re actually rocking my pelvic area forward, which, in turn, places pleasurable pressure on my groin.

Using light and playful pats, drum an exhilarating rhythm with your palms and the sides of your hands or, practice another erotic stimulation — light biting — which means caressing me with your teeth, not breaking the skin.

Stomach

Start with my ribs and create a unique static electricity sensation by holding your hand one inch above my body without touching. I’ll feel your body heat. When I’m least expecting it, run your fingers up and down my stomach.

When I close my eyes, move down my abdomen and tease me with the point of a paint- or makeup brush in unanticipated places. One of the easiest ways to turn me on is by tantalizing me with a combination of touches that are far from routine.

Groin

Start slowly cowboy. Using the palm of your hand, place pressure over my entire genital region, altering your rhythm and pressure.

Then imagine a clock: With my clitoris at 12 o’clock, place your fingers at 4 o’clock and 8 o’clock — sensitive nerve bundles are located in my vaginal lips. Experiment with slow strokes and circular motions.

As I get more aroused, stimulate me more directly, by placing a finger on either side of my clitoris and increasing the massage tempo. Then, slowly run your tongue from 6 o’clock to high noon, flicking it over my clitoris as though you’re riding over a speed bump. Then circle your lips around my clitoris and enjoy (I know I will!).

Perineum

Anything out of the ordinary ups arousal. The area between my vagina and anus (the perineum) is usually unexplored territory, which makes venturing there so exciting. Plus, the perineum is filled with nerve endings, since it’s made from tissue similar to my vaginal lips. Use a light up-and-down stroke here.

G-Spot

Don’t be in such a hurry to penetrate me with your fingers. If and when I’m game, place one finger in my vagina with your palm facing up and motion in a “come-hither” movement, so you’re stroking the upper wall of my vagina. This area, known as the Grafenberg spot or G spot, should feel rough and start to swell and pulse. That means that I like what you’re doing.

Inner Thighs

Think of my inner thighs as the corridor to my sex organs. Massaging my inner thigh with a firm motion will actually move my vaginal lips, which in turn will stimulate my clitoris.

My excitement increases with anticipation, so arouse me, then back off. Introduce unusual materials, like wearing a fur-lined glove inside out. Or, try placing a vibrator between my thighs to get my blood really pumping.

Kneepit

Nerve endings are more intense around my joints, so there’s added sensitivity here. Use one finger and tiny one-inch strokes in any way you feel creative. I’ll rate the feeling on a scale of 1 (don’t do that again) to 10 (yes! yes!). Change the pressure, angle or direction of the stroke, and I’ll change the score.

Feet

My feet and toes are filled with nerve endings, making them one of the most sensitive areas on my body. Draw on a piece of silky fabric.