The ‘Marrying Man’

Twelve thousand, one hundred and thirty-six that’s how many couples have said ‘I Do’ before Reverend Terrence Gordon since he married his first couple in 1978, or at least, that was how many the last time he counted.

It’s an impressive record – and no other marriage officer in Jamaica even comes close, especially since Rev Gordon almost constantly ups that number by performing about four (or so) wedding ceremonies a day at Sandals Resorts in Montego Bay. His association with the local luxury hotel chain goes back to the opening of Sandals Royal Caribbean, three days after the resort officially began taking guests.

In that time, Rev Gordon has wed rich and poor alike, counting among his statistics celebrities such as US basketball player Marcus Camby of the NBA’s Denver Nuggets and Jamaican-born actor, Dule Hill of television’s The West Wing.

“Most of the people I marry are tourists, but I have also done a number of local marriages. I marry anybody, anywhere… it makes no difference whether you have a dollar or not,” a proud Gordon boasted.

And marry he has – on the beach, inside churches or chapels, under the trees or in the gardens – in fact, it’s a rare day he does not have a wedding to perform.

But thirty years ago, Rev Gordon didn’t even think that he’d be a man of the cloth, much less a record-holding wedding officer.

“Ministry was not something I wanted to do, I was called [by God] to do it,” reflected Gordon, who for several years prior to beginning pastoral training served as a lay preacher.

In fact, his story is rather remarkable. After dropping out of school to find work at the age of 12, Gordon ‘wandered’ for years until 1963, when he found the Lord and became a Christian. When he realised his calling, Gordon left Jamaica for New York, where he went to school, earning bachelor’s and master’s degrees in theology and psychology respectively.

Today Gordon oversees 10 churches of the Door of Faith Church of God and runs a hectic schedule of church-related work plus the never-ending series of weddings, vow renewals and pre-wedding counselling sessions. The work at times takes him away from his own family for extended periods of time, but he insists it’s a sacrifice he’ll make with a hearty disposition.

“When a man is called to serve he must make a lot of sacrifices in order to do the work of the Lord well. Pastors are called to serve.to clean up the mess within people’s lives and that is what will change things,” said Gordon, who turns 66 this year.

It’s a pragmatic approach, and Gordon realises that many of those he puts together in the name of God won’t stay together. He himself, in fact, has been married twice, his first marriage ending in an amicable divorce, but his second and current marriage is running smoothly and happily thus far.

“Fortunately I found a beautiful girl and re-married… she’s a wonderful person,” he beamed.

And after 24 years, while he can’t remember the names of even half the couples he has put together in the name of God, he’s more than happy to help any pair of lovebirds achieve their own happiness, for most, in the beautiful and memorable north-coast settings that have made Jamaica a famous wedding destination.

Well, almost any couple.

While he says he’s happy to marry the broke, the rich and the famous with equal verve, Rev Gordon draws the line at marriages he deems unethical or inappropriate, counting in that category ‘business’ and same-sex marriages.

“I don’t do business weddings… people come and ask ‘pastor, marry we nuh…me cousin want to go ‘Merica’, but I just run them away with that foolishness.” Thankfully, he says, he has yet to ‘run’ any same-sex couple, since he’s never been asked.

“I’ve never been approached by a same-sex couple and I hope I never will be. The day the government decides on making [same-sex marriages] a constitutional right is the day I will be surrendering my licence. I’m not doing any of those,” said the reverend emphatically.

But marry he will, and while he’s nearly at retirement age, Rev Gordon says he has no plans to slow down or stop working any time soon, and says he will be marrying people, “until his eyes close”.

So having counselled and married thousands, and renewed the vows of many more, allwoman asked the veteran ‘wedding man’ to offer his best advice to couples ready to take the big plunge. He had a couple of insightful things to say.

“Know the family that you are marrying into,” he says. “When you marry someone, you marry their family too,” he explained. Also, he added, don’t forget that the frills and flowers of a wedding aren’t as important as the love and commitment of a happy marriage.

“Get a pastor, your significant other, a couple of witnesses and you’re good,” said Gordon.

“Don’t waste money on an elaborate wedding.”