How can I get custody of my children?
Dear Mrs Macaulay,
I have two children with a man who in my opinion is a very unkind and uncaring individual. To cut a long story short, we ended our relationship five years now, and at one point I had the kids living with me and they would go with him on a Sunday.
One weekend he told me he wanted them to spend the entire weekend with him and against what my husband said, I let them go.
He did not return them, and that was all I heard of them until I did my own investigating and found out that he had moved. I would call to speak with the kids and when I was allowed to see them, it was in his presence. He wasn’t sending them to school and had them at their stepmother’s house on a daily basis. This went on for almost three years. I went there one evening to look for them and at the state I saw them in, I had to take them from their stepmother.
Now they are living with me and I have enrolled them in school and they are doing fine. But he is now hunting us down, and spreading rumours about me as well as calling and leaving threatening messages on my phone.
What I need to know is, what can I do regarding getting custody of my children? I am just getting their birth certificates and I need these to file for custody through the courts.
-Confused Mother
Dear Confused Mother,
What is wrong with you? Why did you let this man get away with such maltreatment of your children for three years? And now that you have them back, you are fumbling about instead of taking quick action. Who told you that you need the birth certificates to file for custody?
You may need them to prove that you are their birth mother, but this can also be proved by oral evidence of persons who knew of your pregnancies and of the births of these particular children. Anyway, you should file your application for custody, care and control of your children immediately and make sure that you have the certificates by the time your application is being heard by the court.
I ask again, why did you not take action against him when he kept the children without your consent? He had, in fact, stolen your children, and after you found out where they were and that they were not even going to school (I assume when they were with you, they were going to school), you let him get away with his wrongful acts for three long years to the detriment of the children.
He clearly was not acting in the best interests of the children and neither were you when you left them with him. I am pleased that you now seem to have reawakened to your motherly responsibilities and that you will move quickly to keep and protect and care for your children.
If your children suffered any form of abuse when the father unlawfully kept them, whether mental, emotional or physical, you must report it to the Child Development Agency as quickly as you can. They will investigate the matter and must take the appropriate action. He has no right whatsoever to take the children from you even when you do not have a custody order. He would have to get a custody, care and control order before he can take them from you. He was not your husband. Only husbands and wives have equal rights over their children.
While he had the children, he was duty bound in law, under the Child Care and Protection Act to send them to school. The Act places the legal obligation on parents to ensure that their children receive their education.. You should also report his failure in this regard to the Child Development Agency.
In your affidavit in support of your application for custody, care and control, you must relate all these things that he did and did not do to them and on their behalf and the fact of his threats. When a parent has acted as he has and then kept them from school, clearly acting against their best interests, the court must be informed. It must decide whether it would be in their best interests for him to have any access to them again or only supervised access only. You must also immediately report any threats he makes to the police. In addition, as he is using the telephone to make the threats, you should also report this fact to the telephone company, as it is an offence to use the phone in this way.
Confused Mother, please move fast and make your application. You must as I say, apply for (1) Custody, which gives you the legal right against everyone to make all decisions about your children’s upbringing and life; (2) Care and Control, which give you the right to have them live with you, so you can take care of their daily needs and protect them against harm.
Do not let this man get his hands on these children again and at the very least slow down or arrest their development.
I wish you and your children the very best. Look after them properly and show them lots of love.
Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law and a women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions and comments via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax to 968-2025. We regret we cannot supply personal answers.
