Searching for the ideal man

MORE and more women have confessed to whittling down their ‘ideal man’ checklist in favour of working with the realities of what actually exists for the picking.

Janice, a 27-year-old entrepreneur, says her 15-item list has been downsized by five, as her needs and desires clashed with reality. However, for the meantime she is determined to remain true to her new list, even as she realises that she may not land a Mr Right with these criteria.

Factors such as education and women’s penetration in the business and political spheres in measured contrast to the growth of their male counterparts suggest that a woman nowadays may have more challenges than expected in pursuit of her ideal man.

It’s a situation recognised by the women themselves, and in institutions like the church which adds other criteria which make women’s options fewer.

“In a situation where you have a woman who is highly educated and seeking a partner, how likely is she to find a mate with the same credentials in our present society?” asked counsellor David Anderson.

“Throw in the requirements of the church which states that the mate has to be saved, also, and you have a situation where either she will have to adjust her requirements, or join the long line of women who are waiting like Vladimir and Estragon.”

All Woman asked readers, have women had to lower their standards in the quest to find mates?

Corliss Hutchinson:

Yes. Sometimes as women we find ourselves in precarious positions. And then we will fool ourselves into taking up the first man who says something nice to us, thinking he is genuine.

Tasheka Harrison:

Yep, sad but also true. Some women really have been settling for anyone, especially some of our young ladies. Some of them don’t really know their worth while others hold on to the notion that men are in short supply. One big problem also is that of self-esteem. Some of us women have very low self-esteem and because of this we tend to settle for less and not necessarily the best.

Racquel Duncan:

Nowadays some women are of the belief that all good men are taken, so they decide to lower their standards by settling for a ‘mistress’ role in the lives of these men and they’ll surely not turn them down.

Amielle Anderson:

No, I don’t think women are lowering their standards. Women have a good idea of the type of men they want. To others it may seem like their standards are low, but to me a woman just knows what she wants.

Chadee Chin:

Men are starting to demand from us things we may have looked down on years ago; however, in order to keep these men, some women have started to lower their standards.

Ashley Rose:

Generally, I don’t believe that women are lowering their standards, but for the ones who do, it is usually as a result of them not being able to satisfy the requirements on their checklists. To me, a standard is relative since some women will compromise their lists slightly while others will make drastic changes out of desperation.

Tiffany Knight:

It is almost inevitable since there are more women in our universities, more women climbing the corporate ladder, and achieving in all sectors of society. This will mean that the partners that they end up with may not be on the same level as them academically, socially or financially.

— PH

Janice’s REVISED list

1. He has to have a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, first class honours preferably, but I will accept an upper second.

2. Also, wavy thick hair and lashes and deep brown eyes.

3. His body must be well chiselled and full of thoughtful surprises.

4. He must be an imaginative and romantic lover and a careful listener.

5. He must have a well-paying job and no larger than size nine feet.

6. He must not be a ‘mama’s boy’.

7. He must be God-fearing, and he must be adventurous or at least open-minded in the bedroom.

8. He must have the ability to roll his tongue into a sexy accent.

9. He must not have children from a previous relationship.

10. He must have good hygiene, perfect teeth and great breath.

Do you find Janice’s expectations absurd? E-mail your thoughts to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or Tweet @ObsAllWoman.