You may be dating a married man if…

NOT because he flirts, offers to date, or even sleeps with you every night means that he is single. In fact, many married men have been known to live double lives for years without their spouses or even sometimes the other women finding out. But you can save yourself the embarrassment that accompanies the realisation that your Prince Charming may not only be hiding a wife, but an entire family.

Counselling psychologist Ivret Williams shared a few signs you can use to ensure that you don’t get strung along for months, or worse, end up with a broken heart.

1. He misses major celebrations

If he is missing in action for major celebrations such as Valentine’s Day, Christmas and New Year’s, as well as other holidays that people normally spend with their partners or families, that’s a red flag. If he cites work as the reason, but you know he works as a paper pusher in a government office, then that’s two red flags. Chances are, he’s home with his wife and kids.

2. He’s weird on the phone

If he does answer the phone when he is around you, but his responses are in monosyllables, beware. This suggests that he doesn’t want you to know that his other half is calling. And if you call him and you hear Dora singing in the background, but he has told you he has no kids, nephews or nieces, that’s strike two. He’s probably doing daddy duties for his young ones.

3. You have only one contact number for him

You know that he has three phones but he only gives you the number for one — his work CUG. He also says that he has no house phone, and doesn’t want you wasting your credit calling the other network. The truth is, he can’t give you the contact numbers for his other phones because his wife has access to them.

4. He avoids answering questions directly

He doesn’t want to say he didn’t tell the truth so he evades your questions. So, for example, you ask, ‘Are you married?’, and he plays it off by asking a rhetorical question like, ‘Am I?’, or saying he’s married to Jesus, or asking you the reason behind your question.

5. He refuses to commit officially

So you’ve been dating for three months but he still hasn’t officially asked you to be his partner. You do everything like a couple but he comes up with excuses for not committing, like he doesn’t want to be hurt; calling yourself a couple will make the relationship boring; or avoiding relationship talk altogether. That’s because he’s already committed to someone else.

6. That pale ring finger

The ring finger is usually a dead giveaway. It is often lighter around the ring area after a ring has been worn for a while.

7. You have no status

You’re not on his Facebook, Instagram or Twitter and he immediately untags any photos you post of him, and gets upset when you do it. You only go for 2:00 am drive-outs when no one else is up, and dinners are had at out of town places, in dark corners where no one can see you. You haven’t met anyone in his family or any of his friends, and you’ve never been to his house, ever. He’s hiding you for a reason.

8. There’s a long engagement

He put a ring on it — an engagement ring seven years ago — but won’t set a date yet. He insists that he’s just waiting for the right time to make you his bride, but fact is, he may already be married, but just wanted a way to keep you quiet until he can sort out his status.

9. You’re excluded

You can’t go to his office parties, you can’t be in his health insurance plan, you can’t go to the funeral when his great-aunt dies, you can’t visit him when he’s doing knee surgery at hospital, heck, you can’t even go to cheer him on at his business house domino tournament. You’re being excluded for a reason, and it’s not because he’s super private.