The importance of negotiations in your relationship
ON hearing the term negotiation, we often begin to visualise businessmen sitting across from each other trying to reach a compromise on a particular topic. Similar to the world of business, there are times in a relationship when issues arise that will prove very difficult to resolve.
A common end product of these conflicts are fights or ignoring the topic altogether, but relationship counsellor Wayne Powell says couples could enjoy a healthy relationship if they negotiate.
“To maintain peace and harmony in relationships, couples should negotiate and agree on rules of engagement. Negotiation is a process by which partners explore and are open to listening to the opinions of their partners, a discussion that will lead to a joint decision being made on the topic under discussion,” he said.
“As such, each partner is expected to hold their end of the bargain as agreed.”
Powell pointed out that it is imperative to the relationship’s health for the couple to stay true to the terms of the negotiations, unless there is a legitimate reason for the change.
“An important part of negotiating in a relationship is that there should be no attempt by one or both partners to change the position of the goal post in the middle of the game. But there should be room for flexibility in the event of an emergency or a change in your partner’s circumstances,” Powell said.
He said that while there should be room for flexibility, there should be a system to prevent its abuse.
There are many benefits to including negotiations as part of a relationship, but more important is adhering to the terms.
“Conflicts arise when one or both partners neglect to carry out the agreed or negotiated responsibilities. Being true to the terms of the negotiations could eliminate disappointment or a sense of betrayal on the part of the offended partner. A couple that is able to negotiate is usually better at striking compromises and would no doubt be better at managing conflicts when they arise,” Powell shared.
He also said that this type of arrangement could reduce the stereotypical struggle of gender expectations, and create a level playing field.
