Awkward one-night stands
WAKING up next to a total stranger after sharing the most intimate parts of you with them the night before will naturally be an uncomfortable experience. But there are some experiences that have transcended from being merely uncomfortable to embarrassingly awkward, and below All Woman readers share their most cringeworthy ones.
Ceon:
I met this guy, the connection was good, and all I thought about was sex with him once or twice while we danced. Anyway, I couldn’t get a taxi so he said I could come home with him. I accepted his offer without checking to see if this guy lived alone. I tried leaving before he woke up but ran into his mother and sister. His mother, in the rudest voice, and looking at me with scorn, said ,”Look what the cat dragged in”. I was able to laugh about it days later, but gosh I wanted to smack her.
Shana:
After what I thought was amazing sex with a super hot guy who I thought was feeling me as much I was feeling him, the guy rolled over in the morning around the same time I opened my eyes, looked at me and hissed his teeth.
Romane:
It was my third college party and my friends hooked me up with a friend of their friend. We spent most of the night together and she begged me to take her home even though I told her it may not be such a good idea. I should have listened, it seems, as this girl woke up at a quarter to four in the morning screaming, “He stole my vagina!” You can imagine what that did to my reputation.
Britty:
I was studying abroad and my friends and I went to Vegas. I decided to try hooking up with a really hot guy — he looked wealthy too. He took me to his hotel room, nice place, and I even told him what I was studying and so on. We had great sex but the next morning I woke up and gently touched him on his shoulder as I was about to leave. He pointed at his pants and said, “There should be about $500 in my pocket, please leave me with at least $50 as I’ll need to take a cab.” I nearly screamed. I can’t believe he thought I was a prostitute.
Graig:
There is psycho and then there is psycho. You know how at a wedding the single women catch the bride’s bouquet and the men the garter? Well, anyway, it so happens that I caught the garter and the woman who caught the bouquet ended up dancing with me later at the reception, and we eventually went to bed together that night. As I woke up to leave the hotel room in the morning, the woman started asking when we would start dating officially, and how long it would be until the engagement ring. She thought that whoever caught the bouquet and the garter should get married. It was awkward and frightening.
Shian:
I woke up thinking I was dreaming that I had the most amazing sex with an ugly guy with a really great body. I had these dreams all the time. But not only did I soon realise that “my dream” was not actually a dream, but I later found out that the guy was my grandmother’s handyman.
Tonya:
I fell head over heels with one of the interns at work, and convinced my friend to introduce us. That same night we went out for drinks, and eventually ended up back at my place. After what was a disappointing session for me, as he was quite tipsy, he got up, got dressed, and said, “At least the sex was good.” To this day I don’t understand what he meant by that.
Frederick:
I didn’t know she had a kid, seriously, and by the time we got to her place, passion had taken over from wisdom — wisdom that would have normally allowed me to see the twin bed in the room. Whether it was the liquor, or her sex appeal that clouded my eyes, I don’t know, but next morning when I opened my eyes, there was a little girl staring at me. Let’s just say I ended up taking the child to school the next morning, and she seemed quite comfortable calling me “uncle”. I never went back there though, as I couldn’t believe that the mother would take a stranger to bed with her child sleeping in the same room.
