The most deadly phrases in a relationship
THE old adage, ‘Some things are better left unsaid’, is an unwritten rule for any healthy relationship. But some people have learnt the hard way that defying this seemingly simple code could spell trouble.
All Woman asked readers to share the most deadly phrases in a relationship.
“You can never take the place of my ex”
Sherry:
I once had a man who had the audacity to tell me that I could never take the place of his ex. It’s not that I intended to, but more than anything at that time I knew the comparisons were just about ready to start flowing in. Never allow anyone to get comfortable doing that.
“We need to talk”
Liam:
When you say this I am thinking about which of my many sins she caught up on, and at this point I’m wondering if I should go home or head to the hills and die with my dignity still intact.
“You’re just like they said!”
Dave:
‘You’re exactly what everybody said you would be’. It’s obvious you were just waiting for me to mess up, and the fact that every time we argue it’s your ‘go-to’ line, then perhaps I should just become a permanent screw-up because only then will you be fine, it seems.
“You should cook like my mother/ex”
Macey:
‘Why don’t you just use the recipes that my mother gave you?’ Sure I am no executive chef and the kitchen isn’t my favourite place, but if every meal I cook I am being told to check his mom’s recipe book, or cook like his ex, that’s cause for trouble. Tell me what I need to improve, or show me a thing or two, but don’t keep comparing me.
“You’re gaining weight”
Amber:
In no way do I promote getting unhealthily overweight, but there’s no need to judge me.
“You’re not perfect”
Lincoln:
I never said I was, and I didn’t realise that because I like things done a certain way and I hold her to high expectations, I was offending and ‘belittling’ her. But in my girlfriend’s words, ‘The world doesn’t revolve around you, no one needs to bow at your feet, your tools are golden but not irreplaceable’. To be honest it broke me, especially the part about my tools not being irreplaceably golden. Is she trying out new tools?
“You overreact”
Venus:
I am at my breaking point because no matter how bad the situation is, I am told that what I am good at is overreacting. He forgets to pay the bills, JPS disconnects our light, he sleeps around, he forgets to pay the credit card bills, he forgets day in and day out to pick our child from daycare, and I could continue, but all this man could ever say to me is that I overreact.
“You’re crazy”
Julia:
This is the worst thing you can say to a woman, especially if she is, indeed, a little bit nuts. No one wants to be told they’re crazy, especially when they’re trying to please you. I get this from my boyfriend all the time, even when I my comments or actions are totally low on the deranged scale.
