A smart woman will ‘fight’ for her man
BEFORE you raise an eyebrow, I’m going to repeat it in an even stronger way — a smart woman needs to fight for her man. Here’s why: We are no longer living in the age when your only competition would be the woman your man sees at the supermarket, gym, or workplace. Men are attracted first by what they see, and everything else — including the all-important personality of the woman — comes afterwards.
Now that technology has made it easier for a man to feast his eyes upon or have access to attractive women who are a dime a dozen, some women would be shocked at the messages and photos that come to their men, especially via social media, on a daily basis.
No woman should feel that her man’s eyes will not stray at some point. It doesn’t matter how attractive you are. Some of the most beautiful women in the world have been cheated on by their partners. Think Halle Berry. Some men will look, fantasise, and do nothing else, but others will act on those fantasies and, be warned, ladies, there are women out there who do not think twice about going after what they want, including a man who is committed to someone else.
A lot of women today are far less conservative about how they view men and relationships. Even Christian men I have spoken to reveal that they are hotly pursued by both single and married women. The truth is that the church is not exempt when it comes to women boldly searching for that husband they want, and nothing is wrong if a single woman expresses interest in a man who is available. However, things are far more serious when pastors’ wives have their hands full trying to stave off women who want to take their place as the first lady in the church. It is not easy being a pastor’s wife, and some have had to spend hours praying to save their marriages.
Women today are less hesitant to go after a man who is taken, for the following reasons:
1. Envy — the mindset is, why should you have such a good thing going? She deserves him more than you do.
2. Finances — he’s providing so well for you but her man isn’t doing the same for her, so she comes after yours.
3. She just wants a man — some women just want to have a man. Perhaps all her friends have partners and she doesn’t, so yours becomes fair game in the hunt to find one of her own.
The sad thing is that sometimes a woman who goes after a married man does not even need the man; she just wants to take him from another woman. She simply does not want to see the other woman so happy. That same man could very well have been trying to get a date with her for months and she ignored him because he wasn’t her ‘type’. However, as soon as that man finds a girlfriend who appears happy with him, he suddenly becomes her ‘type’. While there are good men whose women know they will not go out of their way to cheat on them, bear in mind that nowadays bolder and more liberal women see your man as fair game, ring or no ring. Hence a good man can mess up too, if the right carrot is dangled in front of his face. This means a smart woman will not take for granted the good man she has, and if necessary, she must be willing to ‘fight’ for him.
I am by no means encouraging a lady to get into a physical altercation with another woman who wants to snatch her man. Rather, be smart and do not be hasty in your actions to give up on a good man. Every woman who has a good man should treat him well, while being mindful that there are many other women who would gladly trade places with you. Some will observe from afar and do nothing unless you slip up, others will not wait for you to slip up, rather they will do everything to ensure that
he slips up, so you can kick him straight into their arms.
While you should not become paranoid, a smart woman needs to be discerning. A man who is happy and well taken care of might not necessarily go out of his way to seek an affair, but a woman who is not being well taken care of will look at another woman’s man and wonder what it’s like to be in her place. It’s almost like two children: one is less privileged than the other and has to sit by each day and observe the other play with toys that he/she will never be able to afford.
When a good man slips up, his woman should look far deeper than the act of infidelity. What’s the motive behind his fall from grace? Note that while men have their weaknesses for sex, a cunning woman who wants that man will do whatever she needs to do in order to get him away from you. Unless a man isn’t pulling his weight and has a history of disrespectful, cheating behaviour, don’t be too quick to throw in the towel. The moment you do that, the other woman who came between you might be right there waiting with her arms outstretched.
Marie Berbick is a motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl or e-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.
