Signs your partner is too selfish for a relationship
ALTHOUGH human beings are natural givers or natural takers, upon entering a romantic relationship there is usually a compromise or a balancing act which is necessary for the survival and growth of that union.
ALTHOUGH human beings are natural givers or natural takers, upon entering a romantic relationship there is usually a compromise or a balancing act which is necessary for the survival and growth of that union.
If a woman finds herself giving ad infinitum to a man who takes with no compulsion and appears to be repulsed by the very idea of reciprocating, then it is a one-sided dance without hopes of any harmony as the man is clearly too selfish for a relationship.
Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell knows these types of stories all too well — “I love him……but why doesn’t he love me back?”
Are you involved in a relationship but the truth is you are giving 100 per cent but your partner is giving less than 50 per cent? You cook, wash and clean for him and on his birthday you bake his favourite chocolate cake plus you buy him a top-of-the-line cellphone with money from your savings? You even bail him out from time to time by offering him large sums of money to fix his car or pay back a loan to the bank which threatens to auction the house after months of unpaid payments? In other words, you are always there for him.
Powell points out that if, on the other side of the coin, the man is never there when you need him, is always busy and can never find time for you, never takes you out, never shows affection even during intimacy, never buys you a gift, and never ever uses the words, ‘I love you’, then this is a dysfunctional, unfulfilling union.
“If you can identify with such a situation, it is time you wake up from your slumber and realise that this is a recipe for emotional and psychological distress,” he stated.
The expert said a woman must be very clear that no relationship can be successfully sustained on a non-reciprocal basis. Such a relationship is often mired in denial of the taker’s selfishness.
“Burying your head in the sand when the situation is staring you in the face is a silly thing to do,” he said.
The counsellor cautions women to pay attention to the warning signs of disconnect, and refusal to extend the same kindness, emotions, and support that the man receives from his partner.
“Don’t ignore these behaviour patterns you may have seen in the initial stages of the relationship. Some people may have seen the tendencies before marriage and proceeded with the feeling that he will change after the ring is put on. Wishful thinking. To remain in an unfulfilling relationship is akin to a death warrant.”
There are several ways in which a partner may display selfishness, including:
1. Spending time their way and not in the manner their significant other needs or wants to.
2. Ignoring or shutting down the feelings of the other person.
3. Being excessively angry when he doesn’t have his own way.
4. Unreasonable expectations.
5. Manipulative.
6. Treats you like a sexual object.
7. Fails to care about things that are important to his partner and the relationship.
8. Believing his needs are important and yours are not.
