Dealing with the anxious child
ANXIETY is one of the most common mental conditions affecting children and adolescents, generally presenting as aggressive or extremely passive behaviours.
Clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell says that it is important for parents to understand their children’s condition, as well as arm themselves with information on coping mechanisms to reduce the possibility of the children developing a more debilitating condition such as depression, resorting to substance abuse, or other unhealthy ways of coping.
“Parents want to always be in control of their children’s anxiety, and the first and perhaps the most important step in helping your child to cope is finding out the source of the anxiety and reassuring the child at all times that anxiety is completely normal and that they are OK,” Dr Bell said.
“Anxiety in many children is caused by stressful life events. I actually wrote a book, My First Book of Relaxation Techniques for Children, because so many students were coming to me around GSAT time with severe anxiety — afraid to go to school, having panic attacks, and declining academic performance,” Dr Bell explained.
She pointed out that while occasional stress could cause anxiety attacks, when they become frequent and intense it is a cause for concern and should be treated with the utmost urgency to allow for a proper assessment of the child’s mental space to determine if anxiety is affecting their schoolwork and social functioning.
Dr Bell said that while professional guidance is imperative to assisting the child to cope with their anxiety, the parents have an equally important duty.
“Parents should help their children by helping them develop problem-solving skills. So rather than becoming anxious, help them to realise that what is causing the anxiety can be solved. In fact, many times what we realise is that sometimes what the children are worried about are really what parents should take care of and this is obviously avoidable, so work on that,” Dr Bell advised.
She said parents could be assisted by their children to identify triggers of their anxiety if they are encouraged to use small cards to make note of triggers, place them in a jar, and share them so that they could be addressed.
Dr Bell pointed out that there are also a number of other simple techniques that parents could adopt to care for and improve the quality of life of children with anxiety.
• Teach your child how to calm down with breathing exercises — you can even help them by practising a similar breathing technique. Children love the support.
• Art has proven to be an excellent soothing mechanism. Always have material so your child can draw and colour. Sometimes it can also help you to identify the source of the child’s anxiety.
• Expose your child to calming music — classical music and instrumentals are usually very effective.
• Allow your child go out and play. Physical activities usually help with releasing body tension and stress and relax the mind.
• Tell them to think about doing something that they love, or take them to places that they enjoy, like the beach. This could help them to relax.
• Provide comfort by hugging and giving reassurance.
• Teach children to talk about their feelings. This will help them to be less confused and stressed.
