Signs he’s not the marrying type
MANY times we meet men who after the first conversation grab our attention and have us thinking about them constantly. We may even jump the gun and start imagining a future with them — what it would be like to be Mrs So-and-so, have his children and live happily ever after.
But in the midst of all his perfectness, if your intuition or gut feeling doesn’t rest well, you may wonder if there are signs you’re avoiding that would suggest he’s not the marrying type.
Below, Reverend Karl Johnson, general secretary of the Jamaica Baptist Union, shares four signs your knight in shining armour is a bachelor for life.
1. He constantly skirts discussions on settling down
Though he epitomises the perfect man at the altar, Johnson said if he avoids these discussions it could mean that he is suffering from ‘commitment phobia’. “Anytime anything comes up about moving to the next level, if he always has some excuse or finds some way to avoid the issue, that’s what we call a red flag,” he said. “He may say things like ‘not now’, ‘we have time’, ‘why are you rushing me’, ‘let me finish this first’.”
2. He views marriage as a cultural inconvenience/burden
Johnson said if the man you’re considering sees marriage as an inconvenience and suggests that it’s not going to make him love you more, it doesn’t make sense continuing your interest. “If he’s claiming that you have everything apart from the ring, which wouldn’t make much of a difference, then you may want to take him seriously and not hope he will see the value of marriage after the ceremony,” he said.
3. He espouses positions which undermine your self-worth/self-esteem
“That is almost relational abuse. You take up these men who want to hold you as the girl to a higher standard than you will ever attain, and because of that he’s always using that as a reason why you’re not the right person,” Johnson said. “They are always living in their own dream and their own perception of a perfect woman. In most instances it undermines you as you spend your life trying to be the girl the man says you should be and not being yourself. Sometimes you attempt to please them and become and do things outside of your own value convictions. If he doesn’t love you for who you are, you have to watch that.”
4. he shows little regard for important persons and influences in your life
Johnson said the man you choose to marry has to value the people you value; if not, then he’s not the marrying type. “You have people who drive a wedge between your friends, parents, family. You will never be happy if you have to cut off persons you love — that’s not a marriage, you’re a prisoner and he has you in a dungeon,” Johnson said.
— Kimberley Hibbert
