Signs he doesn’t really want you
IDENTIFYING a man’s true intentions in dating can be tricky. As such, many women find themselves in the unfortunate position of believing that men who merely want no-strings-attached arrangements have committed themselves to them.
While most relationships don’t come with contracts, sex therapist Dr Sidney McGill says it’s not that difficult figuring out a man’s headspace.
“The signs that your boyfriend is not in love with you are not foolproof. He could be a man who has learned the fine art of sweeping women off their feet by giving them loads of attention, and he’ll care for you without being genuinely in love with you. But you have to be very observant to understand the difference.”
Below he shares a few questions he suggests could be very useful in determining a man’s authenticity:
1. Does he regularly give you things apart from Valentine’s and birthdays?
If he only shows his appreciation to you on days that are specifically designated to show appreciation, then his intentions are questionable.
2. Does he evade questions about your relationship concerns or its future?
He becomes defensive if you try to talk about the exclusivity of your relationship. He is also very intolerant to questions regarding the growth and plans for your relationship.
3. Does he like your friends and do you like his friends?
If he doesn’t usually like your friends, it could be that he doesn’t really want to get close to too many people that are associated with you. The same goes for his friends, who probably also know that he is not into you and either don’t want to get to know you because they think it would be a waste of time, or detest you for being too oblivious to the signs that the man is just using you to pass time.
4. Is your happiness very important to him?
A man who truly loves and wants to be with you will value your happiness. He will want to ensure that not only what you are doing, but what he is doing as well makes you happy. If it’s neither here nor there to him, then his intentions are questionable.
5. Does he miss you when you are not around him?
Does he seem just fine when he is not around you? This suggests that he may not be as emotionally attached or engaged with you as you are about him.
6. Do you think he makes you his priority?
If he doesn’t see it important to consult you when making decisions, and doesn’t try to arrive at a compromise with you on decisions he knows could make you feel uncomfortable, you are very much another player on his chess board, not his queen.
7. Do you think he is there for you even when it is inconvenient for him?
If you cook he is there, if you offer to wash his clothes he is there, if you are open to having sex he is there; but as soon as you are the one in need, he has the whole world and all its burdens on his shoulders. Therefore, he cannot take the time to tend to your needs.
8. Does he keep you up to date with most of what is happening in his life?
He doesn’t mind knowing the intricacies of your personal, professional and business life, but as for him, all his affairs are kept secret. He is very diplomatic about answering questions, if he answers them at all.
