Is he a seasoned dater or a serial dater?

WHEN it comes to dating, women are often told to be the players and not the game, but that bit of advice does not always work.

Fact is, women are emotional beings, and when a man fits all you’ve desired and more, you may just lose control of the situation.

But regardless, when dating, it is important to know if the individual you’re interested in is a seasoned dater or a serial dater.

Reverend Karl Johnson, general secretary of the Jamaica Baptist Union, said it is not easy to detect the difference, given the usual emotions or feelings that accompany dating, but there are a few things to consider.

He said the seasoned dater could refer to experience, while the serial dater could point to an ‘exploiter’. So the signs may include:

1. Hunting without hiatus/Prowling without pausing

Johnson said someone who never seems out of a partner and takes no breather in between, is constantly rebounding or is never without ‘arm candy’, may just be a serial dater looking for his next victim.

2. Expert at experimenting

Interestingly, Johnson said the experienced dater will treat the dating experience as laboratory work and the person as specimen. But for the serial dater, the partner is there to satisfy their whim and fancy, their fantasy and folly.

3. Empty promises

Additionally, it is very common for serial daters to make empty promises as it is impossible to keep track of all the women they’re trying to get.

While the serial dater may have similar qualities to the experienced dater, there are a few signs that will spell experience over childlike habits:

1. He’ll get to know you

Johnson explained that a serial dater will do the same, but the difference usually lies in how eager he is for certain things such as sex.

2.Discusses touchy topics

Johnson said an experienced dater will not be afraid to discuss your feelings for him, your expectations from dating, or where you stand in his life. A serial dater is likely to skirt around these issues, as dating in his book will be solely casual.

3. He keeps his word

“An experienced dater won’t cancel last minute plans or toy with you. If it’s not working he will let it go rather than have you like a puppet on a string. There will be no games,” he said.

But according to Johnson, the real challenge is to discern the motive and where you stand, which has to be aided by staying true to your values and sense of self.

“This means you will have to establish the purpose/nature of your relationship; find out as much as possible about the person and their track record, and be willing to make tough decisions earlier rather than later,” he said.

Johnson cautioned: “So look out for the dater who ‘touches the right buttons’ but is always delaying/deferring/ stopping. He might just be a serial dater or a seasoned dater with serial intentions.”