Turn your dud into a stud
THE 21st-century woman’s voice in the bedroom carries a lot of weight, and as she morphs into a sexual creature, her craving for out-of-the-box bedroom showdowns – give or take the influence of Mills & Boon or some other penny dreadful romance series – is elevated.
Some sexual demands, however, are more easily conjured than fulfilled, since her traditional, non-adventurous lover may show no interest in the exploring of “new age” sexual practices.
How does she move forward? This week All Woman asked female readers to share their expertise at convincing their circumspect partners to go on these sexual adventures with them.
Michel:
We watch X-rated movies together, sometimes even read or share these novels (he loves reading). But even though he’d read these books in the past, he never did much that was new until we starting discussing these scenes more, and I took the initiative to merge some of the scenes from the books into real life. We discussed it together because I didn’t want to force anything on him. As it turns out, my nerd is kinkier than I thought. What I will say is that it never hurts to ask; the fact that he doesn’t do it doesn’t mean he is totally against it or wouldn’t try.
Allie:
He would tease but would never indulge, so one day while he was teasing, I put my palm on the top his head and guided him to where he should go. When the contact was made and he saw my reaction, there was no going back. I also reciprocated, which helped.
Venese:
I don’t beat around the bush, honestly. I tell him what I want and tell him that if he cannot give it to me, then I’ll find somebody who will. Sometimes he breaks and tries it out, other times he doesn’t, but I am not going to beg him when I have done more than one favour for him that can’t even be mentioned in the newspaper.
Afia:
I play truth or dare with him. My husband is a man of his word and we promise to fulfil all commands of the game. I also have a way of somehow bringing up how good my ex was at something – even if I’ve never done it before – because my husband is competitive and he wants to be the best at everything. My husband is so committed to my sexual happiness that he will even go and do research to ensure my satisfaction.
Opal:
Never underestimate the power of talking dirty. That’s how, most of the time, I get my man to try new things with me. I have learned that men don’t like being forced or pushed, but if you find a nice way of proposing it, then they might very well buy in. It also pays to be wearing something sexy when you make the proposal, or if you are talking dirty.
Terry:
I think I found one who doesn’t have his head fastened in the dark ages. He will pretty much try anything, and I am fine with that. He isn’t big on kissing either, but that I can live with.
