Is your relationship holding you back?

WHEN in relationships we often refer to our partners as our other halves, the individuals who complete us and make things seemingly fall into place.

But though there’s no issue with seeing your significant other in that light, be sure that you’re not blindsided by someone secretly trying to sabotage you, in other words, hold you back.

Below, relationship counsellor Wayne Powell tells All Woman the signs that your relationship is holding you back.

1. Stalled goals

Powell said if you are unable to pursue personal and career development projects as your partner gives you little or no support, then he or she may not want to see you achieve much.

2. Constant abuse

The relationship counsellor said if you are constantly emotionally abused and put down by your partner and it affects your self-esteem and drive to achieve, then your partner may be trying to sabotage you.

3. No long-term goals for the union

“If there is no developmental plan for the relationship as your partner shows no interest in discussing and implementing such plans, for example, marriage and children, he or she may not want to see you thrive, especially if you desire these things,” he said.

4. You have no shared values and interests

Powell said this will often lead to an argument and when a decision is to be made regarding the things you want to do, such as going to church to engender your spiritual growth and development, he or she may not go. The relationship counsellor said this can impair your holistic development.

5. No time for rest

“If you have little time for rest and relaxation as your partner is never available to take you out or to sit with you to share your concerns with him, that is not healthy. Your mental health should be important too,” he said.

6. You are overburdened

He said if you are overwhelmed with the child-rearing activities as your partner refuses to actively engage in the process, giving you no break to explore personal, educational or career opportunities, then you may want to get out of that relationship.

7. You are forbidden from communicating with family and friends

The relationship counsellor said if your world is centred on your selfish partner who is unavailable or who wants you to succumb to his viewpoints only, he may be slowly crippling your personal development.

8. Your physical and emotional needs are ignored or neglected

Powell said this will allow you to become most frustrated and distressed and even bitter.