5 things she doesn’t like but probably won’t tell you

SUPERMAN doesn’t exist in real life. A man can perhaps come as close as 80 per cent in terms of having the qualities that will make a woman feel she has won the jackpot, but no one person will have all the qualities she’s ideally looking for. That said, a lot of men want to feel like Superman to their women, but there are also situations where a woman might meet a man she thinks is ideal for her, only to suddenly back away from him without explaining why. Here are five reasons a woman will abruptly go from hot to cold on a man.

1. Sexual performance issues

A couple is usually excited at the onset of the dating game. They want to spend as much time as possible together, getting to know each other and building towards a sexual relationship. For some men, getting the women in bed is the ultimate aim; they can barely contain their curiosity to find out what making love will be like. Women also spend time excitedly anticipating that moment, especially if they’re really into the men. The high a woman is on can come crashing down, however, if she finally gets intimate and she discovers that the reality of the experience is very far from what she envisioned. This can either be a matter of medically related sexual performance problems, disappointment with the size of his penis, or disappointment with his skills as a lover.

If you have a sexual inadequacy problem, be honest with her and tell her before you become intimate. It’s better to give her the opportunity to mentally prepare and then be pleasantly surprised that you performed better than expected.

2. When he’s tight with money

Most women anticipate that their men will assist them financially if necessary. Don’t be fooled by the fact that she doesn’t ask you to help her. She’s probably hoping you will offer, so don’t take her not asking as a sign that she’s OK with you not giving. Despite popular perception that there are too many beggy-beggy women, there are also women who are not comfortable asking men for anything. They will accept if you offer, and in some cases they expect you to offer without them having to ask. It’s better to offer your woman a gift and have her refuse it than to withhold assistance because you think she’s OK.

3. Poor hygiene

There are men who take hygiene seriously. They like to look and feel clean. But there are others who simply do not take the time to ensure they are clean, smelling good, and attractive for their women. Showering, shaving, brushing teeth regularly, flossing and using deodorant are some of the things that make a man a pleasure to get intimate with. A woman might like a man but not his hygiene habits, and telling someone to step up on their hygiene is often one of the most difficult things for a person to do. If the relationship is new, a woman is hardly likely to tell a man she isn’t happy with his hygiene. Perhaps he has to look for subtle signals like her buying him deodorant, a special toothpaste, etc. But not every woman has the patience to deal with a man who does not practise good hygiene. Once she realises he’s lacking in that department, she might slowly back away.

4. Cowardly behaviour

Most women want men who make them feel safe. They want to know the men will step up and protect them if necessary — not just physically, but emotionally as well. A woman wants a man who shows empathy, cares about her feelings, is mentally strong, solution-oriented and assertive. When a man displays cowardly behaviour around a woman, this can be a major turn-off. If he takes her on a date, he should ensure she feels safe with him. If they come under any kind of attack, his first instinct should be to ensure he protects her from harm, not run away to save himself and leave her in harm’s way. For a woman, her man is her knight in shining armour; she expects him to love and protect her and to have her best interest at heart. If a woman doesn’t feel that kind of confidence in a man who is courting her, she might not stick around.

5. Secret sexual orientation

Today, more men are openly gay or bisexual, and there are women who knowingly marry gay and bisexual men. However, not every woman is OK with this. If this type of woman gets the slightest suspicion that the man she is with is secretly gay or bisexual, she might disappear without another word to him. One reason for this is the shame she feels about competing with another man for her man’s affections. It can leave her feeling completely demoralised and can damage her self-esteem.

Marie Berbick is a communications specialist, motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Keep up with her on marieberbick.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl. E-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.