She calls another man ‘boo’
Dear Counsellor,
I am having a serious issue right now. My girlfriend is calling this specific guy ‘boo’ whenever she talks to him on the phone. I confronted her about the issue. A while back, before we got into a relationship, I was going to her place to use her Wi-Fi and I told her I was going to be a little late. However, I ended up being on time. I called a couple of times before I knocked on the door. When I knocked on the door I heard a guy’s voice, so I ran to the back door to see who it was. It was the guy she calls ‘boo’. He jumped out the window and ran to his car. I feel like she is still messing around with this guy. What should I do? I feel truly uneasy about the situation but I’m trying to approach it in a calm, mature way. Even now she stills denies having sex with this guy. What should I do?
It does appear that your girlfriend is playing games, and is not as committed as you are to the relationship. Certainly referring to someone else apart from you in such endearing terms is most curious. And then having the ‘boo’ make a hasty retreat through a window and flee to his car would seem to confirm your suspicions about her unfaithfulness.
Could it be that your girlfriend has been hinting to you that she wants to move on to someone else , but you have not read the writing on the wall? ‘Boo’ is a term reserved for an intimate partner, and if she calls this guy ‘boo’ in your presence, then it seems she is disrespecting you and the relationship. That is the red flag you may have ignored.
On the other hand, it could be that she wishes to have both of you in her life. Some women do play that kind of a game, as it provides a thrill to have the upper hand in the cheating game.
You have been calm in your response to her actions. While this is commendable, this could be the reason she is taking your meekness for weakness. Certainly, aggression and violence are not the way to go, but you must have a serious conversation with her as to whether she wants a relationship with you or not. If she does, then she must immediately cease and desist from playing these games. If she continues, then your decision should be obvious.
Wayne Powell is a relationship counsellor. Write to crisscounselloronline@gmail. com; check out his work overseas on www.seekingshalom.org, e-mail powellw@seekingshalom.org.
Wayne Powell is a relationship counsellor. Write to crisscounselloronline@gmail. com; check out his work overseas on www.seekingshalom.org, e-mail powellw@seekingshalom.org.
