5 people who can jeopardise your relationship

REGARDLESS of how brave a man appears to be in going after a woman he is truly interested in, there are some specific people in her life that he finds intimidating because of their influence on her decisions.

I have said it before and I will say it again: Men are just as emotionally fragile as women — they are just better at hiding it. This is why a lot of women have no idea how nerve-wracking it can be for a man to get past the gatekeepers in her life. Here’s why these persons have such a huge impact on whether a man gets past the gate, or if he does get in, whether he is able to remain.

Her father

A man understands how another man thinks, so a woman’s father usually has his antennae up when it comes to a man who wants to court his daughter. This is even worse if he was a womaniser or the wild type back in his day. A good father is very protective of his daughter, so any man who wants to take her from him has to be thoroughly scrutinised and sometimes well investigated too. This can make a man very nervous, especially if his intentions are not good or if the daughter has a very close relationship with her dad. Within the first five minutes of meeting my dates, my own father could tell me whether they were up to no good, and he was always right.

Stepchildren

When a man begins to court a woman who has children from another relationship, the experience can be comparable to walking on eggshells. It is not easy to get past that gate if her children do not welcome him. It can therefore be very painful for a man who meets a woman he truly wants to be with, but her children are determined to make it an experience from hell. It is a very tough position to be in when a woman likes a man who her children are opposed to, for no reason other than that he is not their daddy.

Her best friend

A woman’s best friend is a very influential person in her life, including her intimate relationships. A best friend, whether male or female, can sometimes cause a man to be locked out, regardless of how hard he is knocking at the gate. Women confide a lot in their best friends, and if the best friend’s advice is taken as gospel, as is the case with some women, a man needs to win the best friend over if he is to get anywhere with the woman he wants. Not every woman makes a decision based on what her best friend thinks, but many do, and in those cases a man can find that a woman’s best friend holds that key he so badly wants in order to get past the gate.

Her pastor

Oh yes, this is a big issue for a lot of dating or married Christian couples. Pastors can be very influential in a Christian woman’s life, and if she is misguided in terms of her role as a wife, this can be quite detrimental for her marriage. Out of ignorance, a lot of Christian women are more dedicated to their pastors and their duties at church than they are to the needs of their husbands or in sustaining a happy and healthy marriage. A man might therefore find that pastor’s instructions overrule his in his own household, and if pastor does not approve of him, he might not get through that gate, or if he does, he will be in for a rough ride.

Her ex

If he is the possessive, obsessive type, a woman’s ex can be a big turn-off for a man who is seeking to be with her. Not everyone has the patience to deal with the drama that comes with a woman who has an obsessive or controlling ex. She could be a very good woman who is unfortunately saddled with the burden of the ex from hell, but unless it’s a man who genuinely loves and wants her in his life, the stress of that situation could keep him at bay.

Marie Berbick aka ‘The PR Girl’, is a communications specialist, motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl, or e-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.