Platonic cuddling: the new bonding experience
TWO years have passed since the staging of the first-ever cuddling convention — Cuddle Con, where strictly platonic and non-sexual embraces were exchanged over a 12-hour period. The convention was the brainchild of professional cuddler Samantha Hess, who also founded Cuddle Me Up — a business that provides platonic cuddling sessions for clients who believe that singleness does not preclude tactile signs of affection.
At the time of the first convention, US-based Hess hoped that people would recognise the value of platonic touch. This followed a study co-authored by Amy Muise — then post-doctoral fellow at the University of Toronto — on the effects of cuddling in a relationship after sex. Muise cited research to suggest that cuddling, which is commonly associated with romantic relationships, can take place in platonic relationships as well.
She said that touch is a way for people to feel closer to one another, and pointed out that platonic touching in a professional setting was appealing to some because it was less intimidating than a romantic encounter, and involved fewer risks of rejection.
But could this work in Jamaica? Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell told All Woman that it would be difficult to separate physical closeness and the possibility of arousal.
“Once touching is involved, feelings of arousal will arise. Can you shut the feelings off? Hardly likely. Body contact makes it difficult to tune out the emotions, even if you are just friends. Although platonic friendships may be pure and innocent, the physical closeness of the hugs can set off strong sexual feelings, especially if you’re in the right place at the right time.
“Your feelings can’t be turned off like a light switch — worse if there is some latent attraction for each other. A brief hug, maybe, but sustained snuggle and cuddle can open a can of emotions,” he said.
If the person doing the cuddling is a stranger, Powell likened it to a sex surrogate who doesn’t offer sex, but he maintained that it would still be difficult to avoid intimacy.
All Woman sought some readers’ views on the subject.
Winston Blackwood, project manager, 26:
I’m sure it can exist, but it would take some getting used to — especially since cuddling is heavily related to being in an intimate relationship. It would definitely be strange to have strictly platonic cuddling sessions with a total stranger without having had some sort of relationship, not necessarily an intimate one, with them before.
Kate Jones, IT specialist, 28:
I know it couldn’t work for me. Firstly, I am not comfortable with being touched by someone I don’t know. Now if I’m cuddling with someone who I know and I am attracted to, I’m going to want it to go further, even if it doesn’t go to sex. I’m going to want more than just plain cuddling.
Emelia Jones, blogger, 35:
Even if you know the person and have no [sexual] feelings, cuddling can’t be innocent. If a man is willing to cuddle with you, he likes you. You can’t cuddle with someone in the friend zone.
Michael Thomas, accountant, 34:
Not even with church people could this work. There is a point of no return. When you open the door and certain animal instincts are let out, how do you turn it back?
Shanique Palmer, library assistant, 29:
I’m not the hug-up, hug-up type of person. For me to cuddle up with a total stranger — nah! But I can cuddle up with someone I like and not have sex.
Matthew Fowler, graphic artist, 42:
That’s going to be hard, especially if you know and like the person. I mean, it’s possible to like someone and not want sex, but if you like someone and get a chance to cuddle and caress, feelings and fire a go ketch.
Brian Mattis, teacher, 46:
It could work in Jamaica, but I wouldn’t do it.
