Harassed at home, work, in the street…

SEXUAL harassment is still very much a global concern, an issue not unique to any specific time, place or group of people. Indeed, so prevalent is the issue that workplace policies have had to be written to include it, and women sometimes cringe at having to traverse certain areas because of the risk of being targeted. Have you too been subjected to sexual jeers, advances, jokes and groping from strangers, colleagues, and sometimes even family members? How have you been treated as a sexual object?

Yanique, 29, nurse’s assistant:

I remember an instance that took place when I was at a youth training activity, and there were two army personnel there. One of them seemed to like my friend, and I didn’t know he was into me as well. We were around a table talking and I just felt a foot going up my skirt. I was frightened and I stood up quickly. He held my hand and asked me not to say anything to my friend or anyone else because he could lose his job. I was so uncomfortable just seeing him when I went there every day. When I was placed at another location, he also came by and told me that he wanted me. Incidentally, my friend was also posted at the same place, and he told me not to tell her that he had propositioned me.

Whitney, 23, media practitioner:

There was an instance when I was photographing a client and he kept eyeing me, saying how he liked when I positioned my legs a certain way.

While at university I was cornered in the common area of my dormitory by a guy who started to demand sexual favours. I had to start threatening him with the greatest atrocities known to humankind before he let go of me. He never made another attempt, so I assume he got the message.

Natalie, 23, consultant:

When I was younger my older cousins and I used to play this game — “pillow fights and tickles”. It wasn’t until I was I was older that I realised I was actually being fondled by one of my cousins. It wasn’t okay. He wasn’t just playing, he was taking advantage of my innocence and vulnerability.

Michelle, 29, teacher:

When I was attending high school, my coach touched me inappropriately every chance that he got. My parents trusted him because he would always seem to have my best interests at heart, but he just wanted to make it difficult for people to believe me if I ever cried foul. I became a physical education teacher and dedicated coach, because I want to protect as many children as I can from perverts like these.

Jody-Ann, 25, media practitioner:

A few years ago, one of my managers at work habitually made sexual advances to me and sent inappropriate messages to my phone. On one occasion he even slipped his hand up my skirt when we were working on a project. I slapped him and walked away. His advances stopped for a while, but on another occasion he spanked my rump. I decided I would have to kill him the next time he did it, so I just stopped working with him to ensure I never put myself in that situation.

Nordia, 27, customer service representative:

The so-called supervisor at my previous job would always come to “make jokes”. First he would start up a conversation which was usually sexual in nature, then he would talk about boyfriends. Then he would put himself in the picture, talking about the sexual desires he had and what he dreamt of us doing, and would try to touch my hands. Once he came in the women’s restroom and introduced the topic of oral sex while I was washing my hands. I told him I wasn’t interested. He kept talking about how good it would make me feel, then he tried to touch me, and this time I had to get serious with him. He had the nerve to say that he was just messing around, and there was no need to be alarmed or to overreact.

Sudan, 24, linguist:

As a high school student I recall how miserable it was for me walking through my hometown. Men were always leering and passing all kinds of sexual comments — all this while I was wearing my school uniform. This situation continued for years — just words — but one day two guys walked past me and one of them grabbed my butt. He then proceeded to complete his journey, all this while laughing with his friend.