Take time to know her…
PERCY Sledge’s
Take Time to Know Her
epitomises the kind of thinking and investigation that is necessary when thinking about committing to a life partner. Many times people’s actions, sometimes subtle, tell a lot about their character — things like the way they react when you are sick, if you lose your job, and if they find out you can’t have children. These actions carry much more weight than lip service, and can be difficult to decipher, especially when you’re too blinded by love to see reason.Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell said noticing these behaviours will take some insight, and shared some of the characteristics that you should take note of in your analysis of whether or not your partner truly values you.
They disappear when you are sickYour partner doesn’t check up on you when you are not well, and if that is not bad enough, they disappear altogether. At this point, you are not available to serve their interests and satisfy their needs, so they pack up and go off somewhere else where perhaps these needs are being met.
They criticise the way you lookThe way you fix your hair or the way you dress seems to bug them. Today you look fat, or you look like a pig with your hair up, or like a fox with your untrimmed eyebrows. You just can’t seem to physically please them, and every time you go in front the mirror you feel as though the person who should compliment you or help you to enhance your image will be at you like a heartless member of the fashion police.
They criticise your familyYour family is never good enough for them; almost everything that happens in your family you have to keep a secret because, instead of supporting you, they taunt you about them — why is your mother so lazy, can’t your brother just get over his stupid breakdown and get a job, why does your father act so perfect? Your family simply cannot do anything right for your mate, even though, despite certain things that irk you about their family, you support them and your mate without being rude.
They are uncaring to their motherThey say pay attention to how a man treats his mother, because it says a lot about the type of man he is. Even if he manages to put up a façade with you, it’s more likely than not this mask will soon disappear.
They always expect you to payWhenever you go out together, they always seem to be broke, as they simply do not want to spend and are always comfortable with the idea of you footing the bill.
They are always too busy to hear your concernsThey don’t make time to listen to your problems. They don’t want to listen to the things that happened throughout the day, or hear of the things that make you unhappy.
They get very disrespectful when they are upsetThey can never settle an argument with compromise or by merely having a discussion. They often hurl insults and tell you things you shared with them in confidence about your past, highlight your weaknesses and insecurities, and don’t show any remorse for insulting you every time there is a disagreement.
They never apologise when they are wrongEven with all the evidence, and even when they concede in an argument, when you state the facts they never apologise even if you state that they should.
