How to know you’re ready to date again

FOR many people, it is difficult to start dating again after a relationship has ended, especially if things ended badly. Psychotherapist Kevin Bailey says that some people delay starting new relationships after a devastating breakup. This is usually because they had high expectations, and looked forward to marriage and starting a family. As such, breaking up could turn their world upside down.Because of the level of shock, denial and anger, some people grieve the loss of a relationship as if someone has died. The loss brings their anger to the fore — they are angry at themselves, God, their ex, at society and the person who may have taken away their partner. It even sends some on a guilt trip — they question themselves and their behaviour towards their ex.So deeply hurt are some individuals that they go into clinical depression. For weeks they mostly stay indoors, and they lose interest in hobbies, going to work and hanging out with friends.It can take up to a year before some people consider dating again, because they need time to forgive their ex and feel like themselves again. How do you know when you’re ready to enter the dating pool once more?Relationship Counsellor Wayne Powell outlines the following pointers:1. You have made every effort to put closure to the previous relationship.2. You can honestly say to yourself (and others): “I am no longer dependent on my ex for emotional support.”3. You feel your self-esteem is restored and you feel confident about yourself and the future.4. You have done a post-mortem of the relationship, you have figured out what went wrong and how you contributed to the breakup. You have made a decision not to repeat the same mistakes.