Allaying childhood fears
WE all fear something. As children we would have had a list of things that scared us: the darkness, the weird-looking clowns that appeared at almost every party we attended, or the boogie monster in the closet or under the bed. Whatever fears may haunt your children, clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell explains that you can help them to conquer those fears. “Children may present with multiple fears. The phobias could involve fear of the dark, fear of insects, or school phobia. These fears could lead to diagnosable anxiety disorder in children. The fears could become crippling to the point of refusing to attend school and intense fear that prevents the child from taking an active role in activities that may involve coming in contact with the object of the fear,” Dr Bell said.She pointed out that children may have developed the fear because of seeing models in the environment that show intense fear. For example, fear of insects may arise because the child observes the reaction of the parents or other people’s dread of the feared object. School phobias may have developed because of a traumatising incident at school or at home. The child may have been bullied in school or may be surrounded by overly critical peers or teachers. The child may also be presenting with family issues that may create anxiety resulting in school refusal.But how can parents help?“Parents can help children in a number of ways. For example, if the fear is about insects, you can help the child by demonstrating no need for such intense fear. Teach them about the insects, watch educational videos and read books on overcoming fear. You can even role-play and pretend to be a friendly version of the insect once the insect does not pose any potential harm to the child; but never belittle the fear or get impatient. It will take a while for them to develop the courage to conquer it,” Dr Bell said.Regarding school phobia, she encouraged parents to find the root cause and address the issues. She advised that if the situation is severe, a child psychologist should be consulted. The psychologist, she explains, would use combination therapy to help a child who may present with an anxiety disorder. Cognitive and play therapy are modalities that are effective in dealing with fears.“Parents should allow the children to express how they are feeling. The feeling of fear should be acknowledged and the children helped to understand how they can best deal with the fear. Parents should allow the children to feel safe, protected and secure. Children should learn how to relax around the fear object. They should be allowed to play to help them relax,” Dr Bell recommended.Fear reduction/coping techniques include, but are not limited to the following:• Tell your child that it is okay to be afraid.• Don’t try to make light of the fear or make it less than it is, simply because you want your child to get over it. Instead, acknowledge that it’s there and help your child to understand the source of his/her fear.• When your children are panicking — racing heartbeat, cold hands and feet or even dry mouth — hug them and reassure them that they are okay. Remind them that they are safe with you.• Soothing music (Classical, for example) or rocking your child in your arms or chair can help to soothe the child’s tension.• Yoga or other calming physical activities such as squeezing a ball, giving them sand to run through their fingers — even painting — are good methods to help calm your child.
