Should the ‘other woman’ ever tell a wife that her husband is cheating?
RECEIVING a call from the woman your husband is having an affair with can be heartbreaking, especially if she is rude about it and gives explicit details. But this has been the experience of some wives, who have had the other women confront them, insult them, and try to belittle them as they seek to gain the upper hand.
According to marriage and family therapist Wayne Powell, in a typical scenario, a woman may meet a man and immediately they spark a connection. Powell said that though he may tell her he is married, he may also paint a picture that all is not well at home, spend a lot of time with this new woman, and they both start developing feelings for each other.
He said while this happens, the man is likely to continue bemoaning his relationship with his wife; however, he may not leave her, and subsequently, the other woman, out of frustration and uncertainty about her relationship with the gentleman, may just take matters into her own hands.
But is there any benefit to a man’s mistress confronting his wife? Powell said yes, but it’s not a case of scoring points, rather, coming face-to-face with reality and experiencing personal growth.
“You may now know for sure what the truth is, you may be able to recognise that you need to spend more time on valuing yourself and not settle for second best, you may appreciate that contributing to the break-up of a relationship is not in your best interest as the same knife that sticks the sheep will stick the goat, you may learn to appreciate and accept your status as your decision and nobody else’s, you will have to take responsibility for the family issues, including children, that will develop, and you may recognise that you need to focus your attention on men who are free, single and disengaged,” Powell said.
So what happens when the wife and sweetheart meet? A few of them shared what happened when they decided to confront the wife.
Kimone P, 37:
I was the other woman once. I knew he was married but it was a rocky marriage and bound to fail. I was in a financial bind and wanted him to spend more on me. I called his wife and told her that her husband was having an affair, and told her where to go and see the evidence. He moved out the same weekend and my allowance got bigger.
Jada J, 23:
Well, I told his wife by accident. She was very belittling and was disrespectful to my friend. In the argument which followed I mentioned the affair and she just got quiet and left. Her husband called me and cursed me out.
Kianna M, 30:
My eldest sister was involved with a married man for a few years. She could not see that he would never leave his wife. I wanted her to be in a healthy relationship with no secrets. I called his wife and told her about the affair. I even told her their meeting spot and time. The confrontation was not nice. My sister suffered embarrassment for a while, but now she is married and has a family.
Anna-Kay C, 26:
I had no idea that he was married. I suspected he was cheating once, but never thought that he was married. When I found out he was married, it was heartbreaking. I called his wife. She didn’t believe me and cursed me off really badly.
Fiona P, 36:
My mother had an affair with her boss. He and his wife ran a business together. She didn’t mind being the other woman, but then she got pregnant with me. She didn’t want me to grow up without my father, so she told his wife about the affair and the pregnancy. But his wife didn’t leave him.
