‘Who gave you permission to get pregnant’ — Women reveal the worst reactions their men had to their pregnancy news

NEWS of pregnancy can evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions — for most planned pregnancies the parents to be are often consumed with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. However, for those whose intentions during sexual engagements were solely pleasure, being presented with a positive pregnancy test is an occasion that is far from joyous, and can result in less than pleasant reactions.

Read on for some of the harsh responses that All Woman heard from some wives and girlfriends from dads-to-be when they were presented with unexpected pregnancy news.

Marie, 29, store clerk:

He said I better know how I was going to take care of a child because he surely didn’t want one.

Aliesha, 35, administrative assistant:

My first child’s father choked and roughed me up because he was convinced I cheated on him when I told him we had a bun in the oven. He made the pregnancy miserable and walked and told his family that I was unfaithful and was pinning a baby on him all because after years, about 11, I think, he couldn’t get his ex-girlfriend pregnant. He apologised when the child was born looking like a photocopy of him, and so did his family.

Gaynell, 31, HR manager:

It didn’t happen, to me, but I remember when my best friend got pregnant in college. She was seeing an upper-class married man who took very good care of her. I think it was the third semester of our third year when she found out she was pregnant, and when she told him he was hysterical. He slaughtered her with curse words and accused her of trying to trap him just before he asked her, “Who gave you permission to get pregnant?” He told her she wasn’t to do anything without his knowledge. He ordered her to get a more reliable birth control method because the pregnancy was all her fault, even though he refused to use a condom.

Keyanne, 25, teacher’s assistant:

I was with this guy for three years and 10 months. When I told him I was pregnant he asked why I had to ruin a good vibe before making it clear I had to choose between him and the baby because he wouldn’t be competing with anyone for love, attention or affection. I chose my child. Now that he is here he supports him (I wasn’t going to ask him to) but doesn’t have a father-son relationship with him.

Debbie, 37, financial analyst:

My husband stood staring at me in shock, and not directly acknowledging that we were pregnant, said, “Well it’s time to start looking harder for a job. That’s one more mouth to feed.” I was only out of a job for a month in our five years of marriage; the majority of the savings we had came from me. I just thank God I was soon able to land a good paying job, and soon after started my business.

Kerry-Ann, 27, university student:

I was ill and we ended up at the hospital and that’s when we found out about the pregnancy. Right after the nurse left, my boyfriend whispered in my ear, “You are not keeping it so don’t get any stupid ideas. As soon as we get out of here you are going to get rid of it and if you can’t get your birth control to work I’m going to make you get your tubes tied, so act right.” I was traumatised, still am every time I think about him. Thank God, I don’t have to deal with him anymore.