Forced to be a single mom
SOMETIMES babies bring a sense of joy and fullfilment to their parents when they pop up by surprise. Other times, though, the relationship between the parents suffer, because either one or both parents were not ready. Some couples work through it together in the best interest of the children, but at other times one parent is left to shoulder the responsibility.
Below women share how they were forced to tough it out alone as single moms.
Judy, 29:
My baby’s father wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom, but it’s not in my nature not to work. So whenever I went to work he would have an issue. He eventually left and married someone who was willing to be a stay-at-home mom.
Quinne, 35:
When I got pregnant the father said the child wasn’t his and he stayed out of her life. He later accepted her as his but still told me not to call his phone about my “charity-case kid”. Fast-forward 14 years later, he bought her a school bag and a pair of shoes. But then because he told her she was too dark and not pretty, and I was very rude to him, he said he washed his hands clean of her.
Christina, 26:
I got pregnant when I was 17. He was going to school too and when he told his family, his mother said that I should get rid of it. I decided that I wouldn’t do it, and he left me because he said he could not dis his mother for me. He said that she would put him out and disown him. Bear in mind that my family was also upset, but I stayed with my cousin until I could work and take care of my baby and I never looked back, and neither did he.
Shadae, 32:
I was with him for a year and I got pregnant after a night of careless, unprotected sex. Two weeks later I knew I was pregnant, but I wasn’t very worried because the relationship was going great and I saw a future with the guy. It was a big shock for me to realise that he felt differently. All of a sudden we started having arguments, and he started pushing me away and being distant. By the time I was two months pregnant he broke it off with me, saying I was crazy. It’s funny how he didn’t realise that before I got pregnant.
Carol, 30:
It’s funny because I used to say I don’t know how women end up as single moms, and I would say that they shouldn’t get pregnant until they really know the person. But let me tell you, you never really know people, no matter how long they have been in your life. I was with him for nearly five years, and he even expressed that he wanted to marry me (after he cheated and I was going to leave). So to be honest by that time we weren’t really using condoms. I was on the pill and I missed a few days and ended up getting pregnant. That’s when I saw the devil in him. He said I was careless and that I was trying to trap him, and he wouldn’t let me.
Gem, 28:
I never planned to get pregnant for him because I was starting to dislike him. He was so full of himself. Everything was about him. But somehow it happened. He promptly told me that he was not ready for a child to take away any of the attention that I was supposed to be paying him, so I should abort it. He said it was either a baby or a husband, because he was not going to compete for love. I chose my baby, and I don’t regret it.
