A fear of love

With relationships terminating faster than the time it takes to fry an egg, more women are becoming extremely fearful of giving their hearts. And who can blame them? Experts say the average timespan for relationships is four years – if the  individuals involved knew each other from high school. That makes the reality even harder for women seeking real love and marriage.

Below, a few women share their experiences and why they chose casual relationships over committed unions.

SM:

I have been hurt deeply by men and I have realised that it is never going to change. Nowadays it’s even more challenging to find someone who is not taken and even if they are single, they are playing games. It is harder for women in their 40s so you can only imagine what it is like for me at age 46. I am currently in an open relationship where we both see other people. It is not what I want but it is really what is available and this way, I know what I am in so there is less of a chance of getting my heart shattered.

CB:

I was married for 12 years and when my husband told me he wanted to be out of the marriage because his girlfriend, who was the same age as our son, was pregnant, I was devastated. I literally went into a state of madness. After tons of money spent on therapy, I met someone and even though he wants us to take it to the next level, I am afraid. I am afraid of giving my heart again only to be left alone and in an asylum.

JM:

I prefer being in a relationship that is not a committed one because I believe once you go exclusive, the real problems begin. It is like a couple living together for years and as soon as they get married, it is over. I am tired of seeing women in my family heartbroken, cheated on and abused. I simply prefer living this way – less stress.

ML:

I am totally afraid to give my all to a man because with social media being the main source of cheating, I just cannot deal with it. So I am seeing a guy casually and we go out a few times, but nothing too serious. I like it this way because I can sleep at night not worrying over a man.