Love is a feeling you feel…
SOME years ago, in a survey conducted by a local radio station, a number of people were asked to define love, or to say in their own words what love is. Some people said:
•“Love is a feeling you feel when you get a feeling that you’ve never felt before.”
•“Love is a perpetual state of anaesthesia.”
•“Love is a find, a fire, a heaven, a hell — where pleasure, pain, and sad repentance dwell!”
•“Love is a grave mental disease.”
•“To love somebody is not just a strong feeling — it is a decision, it is a judgement, it is a promise.”
•“Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.”
Types of love
There are at least five types of love. The first is the Greek word Epithumia. It means to set the heart on; to long for or to covet. In the Bible it is used both in a positive and a negative way. When used in a negative way it is translated as ‘lust’. When used in a positive way it is translated as ‘desire’. In marriage, husbands and wives should have a strong physical desire for each other.
The second is the Greek word Eros. Eros is romantic love; it is passionate and sentimental. It is often the starting point for marriage, being the kind of love that lovers fall into and write songs and poetry about. It has been called rapture, exquisite pleasure, strong, sweet, and terrifying, because it is so all-absorbing. Let me hasten to say, however, that Eros has a problem. It needs help because it is changeable and cannot last a lifetime all by itself. Eros wants to promise that the relationship will last forever, but Eros cannot keep that promise alone. Eros by itself is not good enough. But it is the delightful part of the love life designed for marriage.
The third love is characterised by the Greek word Storge. This love is the kind of love shared by parents and children or brothers and sisters. It is a caring love; it offers a sense of belonging. It is giving the utmost loyalty to each other. It offers emotional refuge. The marriage lacking this quality of love is like a house without a roof, where the rain can pour in.
The fourth love is described by the Greek verb Phileo. It is a love of relationship, comradeship, sharing, communication, and friendship. It is a friendship love, which always expects a response. It is a conditional kind of love. “I love you because… I love you if…”
The fifth love is Agape. Agape is the totally unselfish love that has the capacity to give and keep on giving without expecting anything in return. Agape love is God’s love.
A marriage possessing Agape love can survive anything! It is Agape that keeps a marriage going when the other loves falter and die.
Above is an excerpt from an article by CEO of Family Life Ministries Dr Barry Davidson, on love.