What do women really want?
WOMEN have been labelled ‘complex creatures’ by their male counterparts, and many men have been left dumbfounded by what seems like the age-old question, ‘What do women really want?’ In fact, there have been many books, movies, late night banters and even office discussions that have erupted, trying to find an answer to this ‘mystery’ for men.
As a part of its virtual Goal Getter financial series, JMMB last week sought to answer this question, with the help of Terri-Karelle Reid, speaker and online brand strategist; Tami Chin Mitchell, entrepreneur and media personality; and Michelle O’Connor, JMMB Group’s manager, corporate planning. The all-woman panel kept it real as they shared honestly about what women really want from a man in a relationship. Led by Clyde Shaw, training and development manager at JMMB Group, the trio also sought to dispel and challenge stereotypes associated with both sexes in relationships. Using their personal experience and relationships, they gave these key takeaways:
All women are not gold diggers
Reid sought to outline that a distinction should be made between being a gold digger and wanting financial security, which is logical, and a need for everyone. She also charged men to examine the approach they bring to the table in seeking to attract and impress women. Chin Mitchell, in giving further insight into why some women are labelled as gold diggers, noted that these mindsets and behaviours are learned, and it is possible to unlearn them. Both women agreed that mothers have a vital role to play in helping their children develop balanced mindsets by having healthy conversations and helping their sons, especially, to both identify red flags and examine how their potential partners treat with their own money.
Women want support
The passionate Reid underscored the value of having a partner who is interested in being a part of what you are doing.
“Just take the time to be supportive, because if it is important to me, is it is important to you,” she said.
She highlighted that a woman wants a man who recognises her greatness, and “his objective is to enhance you and not to out your flame (instead he fans it)…” She urged men not to be driven by their own egos and compete with their partners.
The role of a man is to provide, protect, please and perform
Iyanla Vanzant defined a man’s role with four ‘Ps’ – provide, protect, please, perform; though the discussion focused on the first three. Chin Mitchell outlined that although men have been socialised to be providers, a man’s worth should never be measured by his ability to provide, especially financially; instead, emphasis should be placed on his character, even as she acknowledged that financial needs are real.
Reid chimed in: “Provision includes, but goes beyond, finances…and it is more about filling in the gaps that exist in each other’s lives”.
Chin Mitchell cautioned, however, that a one-dimensional view of provision can negatively impact men having healthy relationships with partners and others.
The lively discussion also saw the women sharing other solid relationship pointers, such as underscoring the importance of clear communication, while challenging individuals to reframe and examine their negative mindsets in a bid to enjoy healthier, happier relationships and to set their own expectations based on the uniqueness of their relationships.
The virtual event was a part of a special month-long edition of the JMMB Goal Getter Live series, which runs until the end of September.
— CANDIECE KNIGHT
